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就非英文母語人士而言，「贅字」常發生在使用太多的字彙、過度闡述某個論點，抑或寫作時措辭冗長而多餘。我們舉些例子：

1)What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again in the future?
政府目前有什麼規劃能防止悲劇在未來再次發生？

2)After two months of cleaning, Mary and Joe can finally live in a home that is safe and healthy for their bodies and minds.
經過兩個月徹底清潔後，Mary和 Joe終於可以讓他們的身心靈住得既安全又健康。

檢視文章句構是否有冗詞贅字，最好的地方在於句末處。當結束句子時，您是簡潔明瞭的作結，還是丟下過多的言詞包袱給讀者呢？

讓我們一起來看看上述的例子。乍看之下好像沒有什麼不對勁的地方，或許文法上沒錯，但在句末處卻都面臨到冗赘又囉嗦的寫作錯誤。

花點時間，看您如何改變這些句子…

更多內容，請參閱TPS電子報、Facebook與 Blog的最新資訊。 


TPS Team

身為專業譯者與編輯，多年來為許多英語非母語人士修改與潤飾文章，發覺華人從事英文寫作時常犯的錯誤，在於落入中文的語法陷阱中、或是無意識受到中文影響而使用不該用的措辭，造成詞不達意而無法精確地用英文的句構邏輯連結起來，但也可能僅是對於英文句法結構的不熟悉所致。此次推出的新專欄希望能帶領讀者發現常見的英文寫作陷阱，並避免將這些謬誤帶入文章當中。新專欄並非在教導文法規則，而是提出一些觀點，提點寫作者如何提升英文寫作風格與文字說服力。
As an editor and translator with years of experience in correcting English written by non-native speakers, I have come across certain areas that seem to be major pitfalls for Chinese speakers when writing in English. These mistakes are usually the writer’s Chinese grammar or diction unconsciously coming out in their English exposition, or perhaps simply a unfamiliarity with English composition at its higher levels. This monthly column can teach you to spot these common writing pitfalls and thus avoid having them find their way into your English composition. It will not be a list of grammar rules to follow, but instead a look into how we can improve the style and force of our English writing.

Common writing errors by non-native speakers of English #1: Wordiness
非英文母語者常見寫作錯誤之一：贅字(Wordiness)

Wordiness comes in my forms, but, generally in non-native writers of English, it occurs when they use too many words, belabor a point, or are simply redundant in their writing. Some examples:
就非英文母語人士而言，「贅字」常發生在使用太多的字彙、過度闡述某個論點，抑或寫作時措辭冗長而多餘。我們舉些例子：

1)What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again in the future?
政府目前有什麼規劃能防止悲劇在未來再次發生？

2)After two months of cleaning, Mary and Joe can finally live in a home that is safe and healthy for their bodies and minds.
經過兩個月徹底清潔後，Mary和 Joe終於可以讓他們的身心靈住得既安全又健康。

3)It is difficult to recognize which twin is which, as the two look extremely alike.
要從雙胞胎中辨別出誰是誰並非易事，因為他們倆個看起來非常相像。

Often a good place to look for redundancy is at the end of a sentence. Do you end your sentences in a way that leaves your reader with a clear, concise image, or are you drowning out your point in excess verbal baggage?
檢視文章句構是否有冗詞贅字，最好的地方在於句末處。當結束句子時，您是簡潔明瞭的作結，還是丟下過多的言詞包袱給讀者呢？

Let’s take a look now at our examples. At first glance, it seems like there is nothing wrong with them. While that may be true grammatically, they all suffer from bloated endings, or wordiness.
讓我們一起來看看上述的例子。乍看之下好像沒有什麼不對勁的地方，或許文法上沒錯，但在句末處卻都面臨到冗赘又囉嗦的寫作錯誤。

Take a moment and see how you would change the sentences…
花點時間，看您如何改變這些句子…


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Welcome back. Let’s now take a look at our first sentence:
歡迎回來。現在就讓我們檢視第一個句子：

What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again in the future?
政府目前有什麼規劃能防止悲劇在未來再次發生？

Here the obvious wordiness is found in the relationship between the phrases “happening again” and “in the future.” To “happen again” points to a date in the future; thus, we can say that “happening again” already has in it the assumption of an act “in the future.” Therefore we find that if we remove the redundant “in the future”, we get a sentence that is much more concise and vivid in its question to its readers:
這裡很明顯地看出「再次發生」與「在未來」兩詞的贅字情形。「再次發生」意指「在未來」的時間；因此，我們可以說「再次發生」已經是「在未來」的假定事實。所以，如果去掉多餘的「在未來」，我們就能為讀者呈現出更為簡練生動的文字：

What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again?
政府目前有什麼規劃能防止悲劇在未來再次發生？

Now how about our second example? Again our culprit lies at the end of the sentence with the phrase “bodies and minds.” Here again, “bodies and minds” is best left unstated as readers will be able to fill in the blanks without our obvious and heavy handed prodding. They know that a home described as “safe and healthy” is safe and healthy with regard to the bodies and minds of those living within. Once again, the sentence can be strengthened by eliminating the final phrase:
那麼第二個例子呢？罪魁禍首一樣是句末的「身心靈」。「身心靈」最好留給讀者體會與想像的空間，而非刻意再次強調。讀者知道把家裡形容為「安全又健康」，必定是「身心靈」都能「安全又健康」。再一次證明，文章句構能透過消除句末贅字而呈現精簡又雋永的文字美感。

After two months of cleaning, Mary and Joe can finally live in a home that is safe and healthy.
經過兩個月澈底清潔後，Mary和 Joe終於可以讓他們的身心靈住得既安全又健康。

Finally, we come to our last sentence. I believe that by now readers can guess where the problem is and how to fix it. So I’ll leave this one to you.
最後，我們來到最後一句話。我相信您們現在都能猜到問題所在以及該如何解決。因此，就讓我將這句留給您修改吧！

親愛的TPS Facebook粉絲與電子報的訂閱讀者，您們好：

Hello TPS fans. My name is Marko and I will be writing TPS’ monthly composition tips for 2015. As an editor and translator with years of experience in correcting English written by non-native speakers, I have come across certain areas that seem to be major pitfalls for Chinese speakers when writing in English. These mistakes are usually the writer’s Chinese grammar or diction unconsciously coming out in their English exposition, or perhaps simply an unfamiliarity with English composition at its higher levels.
2015新年快樂！我叫Marko，我是TPS新一年的學術專欄總編。身為一名專業譯者與編輯，多年來為許多英語非母語人士修改與潤飾文章，我發覺華人從事英文寫作時常犯的錯誤，在於落入中文的語法陷阱中、或是無意識受到中文影響而使用不該用的措辭，造成詞不達意而無法精確地用英文的句構邏輯連結起來，但也可能僅是對於英文句法結構的不熟悉所致。

I hope this monthly column can teach you to spot these common writing pitfalls and thus avoid having them find their way into your English composition. It will not be a list of grammar rules to follow, but instead a look into how we can improve the style and force of our English writing.
我希望新的專欄能夠帶領您們發現常見的英文寫作陷阱，並避免將這些謬誤帶入文章當中。新專欄並非單純教導文法規則，而是提供一些觀點，提點讀者如何提升英文寫作風格與文字說服力。專欄內容將於近期內推出。

Finally, what you will see will in no way be an exhaustive list; thus, I encourage our readers to send in their own examples so that together we can all grow as writers.
最後，知識是博大無窮盡的，英語學習更無法用短短的專欄就能一一解答所有的難題，誠摯歡迎各位讀者分享您們自身的例子， 讓我們一起教學相長！

Happy Chinese New Year of the Goat!
祝TPS讀者們：心想事成、羊羊得意。

TPS Team

也許有其他更莊重的詞彙可以用來形容出色的學者，也或許，這就是最貼切的形容詞。因為「有膽有識」指一個人充滿活力、勇氣、決心，而這正是一名傑出學者所需具備的條件。

所謂學者精神就是熱忱而不輕佻，求知甚切而又從容謹慎。簡言之，有膽有識的學者對於研究工作是堅定而熱衷。

TPS 本月份專欄「4 Characteristics of a Scholar # 4– Am I spunky? 學者的四個特質之四：我是否有膽有識？」已刊登於官網，決心能讓做學問的道路保持於正軌之上，講求研究倫理、擁有決心的學者絕對會倍受肯定。

從事學術寫作一段時間後，寫作者難免自問一個基本問題：我是學者嗎？如果性格不適合學術界，卻立志以學術研究為業，終究會徒勞無功。即使是剛踏進這個領域的學生，若能好好檢視自己是否適合走學術路，也不失為明智之舉。假使個性與學術研究並不契合，往後漫長的學術著述工作只會成為惱人的苦差事，讓人不斷感到挫敗沮喪。本文提供幾項檢視方式供您參考。
At some point, an academic writer should ask a fundamental question: Am I a scholar? Pursuit of an academic career will be in vain if a person is ill-suited for academia. Even students who are just passing through the realm are wise to examine if they are a good fit for academic scholarship. If not, the academic writing will forever be fitful and the writer frustrated. Hereafter are ways to examine thyself.

Characteristic # 4: Am I spunky?
特質四：我是否有膽有識？

There might be a word with more gravitas than "spunky" to describe this characteristic of an excellent scholar, but perhaps not. After all, "spunky" is defined as "full of spirit, courage, and determination." That well-describes the character of a top-flight scholar. The spirit of a scholar is evident in his love of intellectual inquiry and the energy he brings to his search for additional or re-discovered knowledge. It is zestful without being frivolous, urgent but unhurried. In short, a spunky scholar steadfastly enjoys his work.
也許有其他更莊重的詞彙可以用來形容出色的學者，也或許，這就是最貼切的形容詞。因為「有膽有識」指一個人充滿活力、勇氣、決心，而這正是一名傑出學者所需具備的條件。從一個人求知的熱衷程度，以及他從事研究時為了探求新知或重新發現既有知識所投入的精力，可以看出他是否具有學者精神，所謂學者精神就是熱忱而不輕佻，求知甚切而又從容謹慎。簡言之，有膽有識的學者對於研究工作是堅定而熱衷。

A true scholar’s courage is monumental. It is demonstrated in willingness to defy convention in pursuit of truth. For all the tributes the academic community pays independent thought, a body of belief can grow up around a discipline until it chokes alternative beliefs. A scholar who takes on this hegemony risks being ostracized by peers. So devotion to ideas and intellectual examination of the status quo is not always a collegial experience. It sometimes is a lonely task undertaken by a brave man or woman.
真正的學者具備過人的勇氣，他們在追求真理的路上勇於突破傳統，即使學術界十分推崇獨立思考的精神，學科發展一段時間後，也可能獨尊一家之言，完全摒棄其他論點，敢於挑戰這種學術霸權的人，同時也面臨遭受同儕排擠的風險。因此，在獻身於理念、檢視既有思維的路上並不一定能夠找到許多同伴，這也許是一條孤獨之路，只有無所畏懼的學者才能承擔。

Determination is the glue that keeps a scholarly quest on course. One can love an idea and boldly express it, but only a determined person will delve into it until it yields whatever fruit grows there. A researcher with conviction learns how to tirelessly navigate material without being either sidetracked into a dead end or misled to a faulty conclusion. His determination is to get to the bottom of the matter, rather than to prove a preconception. Guided by integrity, a determined scholar almost cannot be denied.
決心能讓做學問的道路保持於正軌之上，有些人可能對某個想法具有十足熱誠，也不畏於表達，但只有充滿決心的人會深入鑽研，直到窮盡。信念堅定的學者懂得研究資料的方法，不至於偏軌走進死胡同，也不會被誤導向錯誤的結論，因為他決心要查清事情的來龍去脈，而不是要印證偏見。講求研究倫理、擁有決心的學者絕對會倍受肯定。

憲法理論中有所謂「原旨主義」，主張論證皆須回歸到美國憲法制訂者的原始旨意，這個概念也可用來檢視學術工作，越接近理論或概念形成的初始根源，論證的結論便越令人信服。

然而，缺乏想像力、思想乏味的研究者可能只會挖掘事實，但是具有想像力與獨創性的研究者，則知道如何運用之。

TPS 本月份專欄「4 Characteristics of a Scholar # 3– Am I an originalist? 學者的四個特質之三：我是否能追本溯源？」已刊登於官網，理想情況下，探索搜尋事實的過程會引導出新的研究方向，對於研究結論具有啟發作用。

從事學術寫作一段時間後，寫作者難免自問一個基本問題：我是學者嗎？如果性格不適合學術界，卻立志以學術研究為業，終究會徒勞無功。即使是剛踏進這個領域的學生，若能好好檢視自己是否適合走學術路，也不失為明智之舉。假使個性與學術研究並不契合，往後漫長的學術著述工作只會成為惱人的苦差事，讓人不斷感到挫敗沮喪。本文提供幾項檢視方式供您參考。
At some point, an academic writer should ask a fundamental question: Am I a scholar? Pursuit of an academic career will be in vain if a person is ill-suited for academia. Even students who are just passing through the realm are wise to examine if they are a good fit for academic scholarship. If not, the academic writing will forever be fitful and the writer frustrated. Hereafter are ways to examine thyself.

Characteristic # 3: Am I an originalist?
特質三：我是否能追本溯源？

This term was coined in respect to belief about the original intent of the framers of the U.S. constitution, but it can be applied to examination of the scholarly life. It is a way of saying, "The primacy of core source material is my research standard." The closer a researcher can come to the beginning expression of a theory or movement, the more valid is the conclusion reached in a paper. Therefore, being committed to finding original sources is a sure sign that a scholar is serious about his research and his career.
憲法理論中有所謂「原旨主義」，主張論證皆須回歸到美國憲法制訂者的原始旨意，這個概念也可用來檢視學術工作，奉行原旨主義的人會說：「我的研究標準就是，一切以核心原始資料為優先。」越接近理論或概念形成的初始根源，論證的結論便越令人信服。因此，學者是否致力尋找原始資料，可作為判斷他對於研究與學術生涯認真與否的重要檢視標準。

Ironically, the term “originalist” also suggests that, while a person wants indisputably original material, he nevertheless is an original thinker. There is no tension between honoring fact and seeking truth. A scholarly search is grounded in what is known and empowered by what is unknown. A plodding, unimaginative researcher might dig up the facts, but only an imaginative, original thinker knows what to do with them. Ideally, foundational fact-finding will spur new lines of inquiry and revelatory conclusions.
諷刺的是，強調追本溯源的學者，雖然致力找尋絕對原始的資料，他同時也是具有獨創性思維的學者，表彰事實和尋求真相兩者並不衝突，學術研究是由已知出發，由未知賦予力量。缺乏想像力、思想乏味的研究者可能只會挖掘事實，但是具有想像力與獨創性的研究者，則知道如何運用之。理想情況下，探索搜尋事實的過程會引導出新的研究方向，對於研究結論具有啟發作用。

Realizing you are an originalist is a heady discovery in itself. Many scholars never enjoy the satisfaction that comes from wedding diligent research with genuine insight. Some are satisfied to dig out the facts and present them without amplifying them. Others have valuable ideas but lack the aptitude to illuminate them through skilled research. A scholar who is both a fresh thinker and a painstaking researcher can produce material that is the envy of colleagues. Such people are rare, but you might well be among them.
發現自己是個原旨主義者，可能會令人很傷腦筋。雖然勤勉研究後所獲得的獨到見解，往往能給人帶來無比滿足，但許多學者並不這麼認為。有些人的研究僅止挖掘事實、呈現事實，毫無進一步的運用詮釋，有些人的想法十分可貴，但是欠缺研究技巧，難以闡明這些想法。只有想法獨創又努力不懈的學者，才能產出令同儕稱羨的研究果實，這種人才很少，但也許你就是其中之一。

「深入」是成為學者的必要條件，因為學術工作講究深度。如果抱持浮泛粗淺的態度作研究，則不可能對研究資料有任何深刻理解。

因此，學者追求知識必須「全力以赴」才會成功，追尋線索時必須發揮堅持的精神，無論追到天涯或海角都要堅持到底。

TPS 本月份專欄「4 Characteristics of a Scholar # 2– Am I a skimmer? 學者的四個特質之二：我做學問是否有如蜻蜓點水？」已刊登於官網，別因為看到意料之外的風景而中止探尋的腳步，習慣蜻蜓點水式研究的人才會這樣做。

從事學術寫作一段時間後，寫作者難免自問一個基本問題：我是學者嗎？如果性格不適合學術界，卻立志以學術研究為業，終究會徒勞無功。即使是剛踏進這個領域的學生，若能好好檢視自己是否適合走學術路，也不失為明智之舉。假使個性與學術研究並不契合，往後漫長的學術著述工作只會成為惱人的苦差事，讓人不斷感到挫敗沮喪。本文提供幾項檢視方式供您參考。
At some point, an academic writer should ask a fundamental question: Am I a scholar? Pursuit of an academic career will be in vain if a person is ill-suited for academia. Even students who are just passing through the realm are wise to examine if they are a good fit for academic scholarship. If not, the academic writing will forever be fitful and the writer frustrated. Hereafter are ways to examine thyself.

Characteristic # 2: Am I a skimmer?
特質二：我做學問是否有如蜻蜓點水？

If there is an adjective that is found in any description of a scholar it is "deep," as in, "She is a deep thinker." The word is pretentious when used that way, yet it describes a necessary condition for any person claiming to be a scholar. For embedded in any scholarly work is the concept of depth. True exploration of a topic in an academic paper always involves diving below the surface. Genuine academic exploration absolutely requires a researcher to mine the topical substrata. Skimming a topic won't do.
所有對於學者的描述中，有個共通的形容詞就是「深入」，比如「她的思考很深入」，這種說法有些矯情，但「深入」確實是成為學者的必要條件，因為學術工作講究深度。在學術文獻中就某個主題進行探索時，必須突破表層，展開深入研究，真正的學術探討，是指挖掘潛藏於表面之下的深層含意，如果研究方式流於浮泛膚淺，便很難有所成就。

A skimmer is the antithesis of a scholar. Yes, there is value in being able to skim pertinent facts from research material, to evaluate a paper in a cursory way and accurately determine its value to a project. An hour wasted plumbing extraneous material is a baneful exercise for a researcher. But any scholar with deep understanding of a subject can quickly determine the worth of research material. The opposite does not hold true: One cannot be an academic skimmer and develop such insight about material.
浮泛可說是學者二字的反義詞。當然，如果能從研究材料中先概略找出相關資料，或是經由粗淺評估，便能確認某篇論文對手邊的研究是否具有價值，這些能力確實有其用處，畢竟，對於研究者而言，耗費一小時讀無關的資料實在是有百害無一利。但是只要對所擅長學科的理解夠深刻，任何學者都能在短時間內判定資料的價值，反之則不然，如果抱持浮泛粗淺的態度作研究，則不可能對研究資料有任何深刻理解。

So the successful scholarly pursuit of knowledge requires a scholar to be "all in" to a project. He must commit to follow threads of information wherever they may lead him. If they plunge into tomes of centuries past, plunge ahead. If they connect with tangential paths of inquiry, evaluate the detours. Determining beforehand just how far and wide a lead will be pursued can be a fatal mistake, for it can preclude new findings and original theories. Don't let the unexpected stop your search. That's what skimmers do.
因此，學者追求知識必須「全力以赴」才會成功，追尋線索時必須發揮堅持的精神，無論追到天涯或海角都要堅持到底。如果投身研究數世紀前的浩瀚書海，不妨勇往直前，如果在循線追查線索時走上岔路，亦不妨繞行遠路。若在投入研究之前便預先設定探索的廣度與深度，可能已經犯下最致命的錯誤，因為這也許會扼殺新的發現或創新的理論，別因為看到意料之外的風景而中止探尋的腳步，習慣蜻蜓點水式研究的人才會這樣做。

有句老話說：「好奇心會害死貓」，旨在警告大家對於別人的私事不要過份好奇，但對學者與撰寫學術文章的人來說，這個建議恰好適得其反。

作研究的首先條件就是旺盛的好奇心，能進而思索未知的範疇，再以條理分明的方法尋找答案。

TPS 本月份專欄「4 Characteristics of a Scholar # 1– Am I curious? 學者的四個特質之一：我好奇嗎？」已刊登於官網，讓您從興趣中培養好奇的習慣。