TPS News

在學術寫作中，「完美」是相對的，但也是我們追求的理想。想寫出完美的研究報告，首先選擇題目必須明智。本次學術專欄特別推出「完美撰題八大原則」，為大家介紹選擇題目的原則，每項原則將定期刊登於TPS專頁。
“Perfect” is a relative term in academic writing, but it always is the ideal. The first rule in the pursuit of perfection in a paper is to choose a topic wisely. This essay introduces and explains one guide in selecting a topic. Each guide is contained in “8 Guides in Choosing a Perfect Research Paper Topic” and will be posted on the TPS Fan page as introduced.

# 2 – Clearly identify the parameters of an assigned topic
原則二：確認研究報告的主題範圍

This suggestion is closely related to the first one, which was to understand an assignment. But rather than dealing with miscommunication between student and instructor, this suggestion has to do with a writer’s judgment. Case in point: A clear-thinking student in a culinary curriculum who is assigned an academic paper on tuna should ultimately conclude that a paper on the health benefits of tuna salad is more appropriate than a paper on the economics of tuna fishing.
上週提到的原則一是了解研究報告的題目，原則二與原則一有關，但不是處理師生溝通不良，而是與作者的判斷有關。舉例來說，如果讀烹飪的學生要寫一份與鮪魚有關的學術文章，清楚思考後，應該知道比起討論鮪魚捕撈的經濟，更適合討論鮪魚沙拉對健康的好處。

Yet professors are regularly surprised by topical tangents. Students sometimes ending up fishing for good grades in strange and irrelevant places. Unfortunately for them, the result is a marked-down paper. This doesn’t mean that instructors don’t appreciate writers who bring fresh ideas and subjects to a topical mix. Willingness to stretch a topic is an indication of intellectual heft and confidence. But stretch a topic too far and usually it will collapse into irrelevancy.
即使如此，教授還是經常收到文不對題的報告。有些學生想獲得好成績，報告內容卻莫名其妙又與主題南轅北轍，當然就拿不到好成績。教授並不是不欣賞學生在題目中整合新鮮的想法與主題，願意擴展題目展現了學生的學術能力與自信；但若是擴展太遠，往往因為離題而寫出失敗的文章。

A general guideline to follow in evaluating the relevancy of a subject is to work outward from the core. If the assigned topic is tuna, for example, a concentric line of reasoning might go like this: Tuna – Fresh / Canned – Properties of canned tuna in water / oil – Albacore vs. Pacific bluefin – Mercury vs. low fats – Protein content – Tuna hash vs. Grilled tuna – and so on. While the process can go on for some time, it should end well before Charlie the Tuna is considered.
評估主題是否相關有一條通則，就是寫作時從核心向外探索。舉例來說，如果題目是鮪魚，思考論證的同心圓邏輯應該是：鮪魚－罐頭或新鮮鮪魚－水煮與油漬鮪魚的特性－長鰭鮪魚與太平洋藍鰭鮪魚－含汞量與低脂肪－蛋白質含量－鮪魚馬鈴薯或煎烤鮪魚…等等。諸如此類的清單可以延伸下去，但如果討論到鮪魚罐頭品牌的卡通吉祥物 Charlie the Tuna ，就表示你離題太遠啦。

Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The truth is, the president is not presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, his vice president for life.”

This suggested revision reduces the word count to 20 from 27. It does so by shortening one introductory phrase and eliminating a second. “The facts of the matter are…” is a clichéd phrase that nonetheless serves a purpose: It defines what follows. It usually is employed as a rhetorical device, declaring that the declaration to come is factual—at least in the mind of the person making the statement—as opposed to previously expressed opinion. “The truth is…” serves this same purpose, but more concisely. Not prefacing the assertion of “facts” weakens it.
句子照建議修改，縮短第一個片語、刪除第二個片語後，字數從 27 個字減少到 20 個字。“The facts of the matter are…” 是個陳舊的片語，目的只是解釋其後的句子，通常是種修辭手法，表明作者認為以下的敘述是事實，不像之前那樣是表達意見。“The truth is…” 這個片語也能達到同樣的效果，而且更簡潔，不加入 “facts” 一字並不會使原意不清楚。

The sentence contains a second introductory phrase—“who is”—that is unneeded and renders the sentence clunky when it is included. The subject of the dependent phrase following the name, Trevor Chan, clearly is the person named, Chan. Therefore, the “who is” serves no purpose other than to slow down the reader, and slowing reading is not something writers should try to do without good reason. In this academic paper, no reason exists to slow the rhythm and pace of the paper, which analyzes contemporary political figures in a quasi-democracy.
同樣的，句中另一個引介片語 “who is” 不僅沒有必要，還讓句子更冗贅。置於人名 Trevor Chan 後非獨立片語的主詞，很顯然就是指 Trevor Chan；所以 “who is” 沒有其他用處，只會拖慢讀者閱讀的速度而已。如果作者沒有正當理由，就不應該拖慢讀者的閱讀速度。本篇學術文章討論當代準民主體制中的政治人物，沒有理由在此放慢文章的節奏步調。

What probably happened is that the writer lapsed into colloquial language, writing in a conversational style. Most people habitually are more verbose in their speech than in their writing. In conversation, we tend to ramble while we sort through our thoughts. We use spoken words to fill silent conversational moments while we search for clear expression. Such wordiness in verbal dialogue can be appealing, but reading filler words is not. When introductory phrases are required to frame a written thought, doing so concisely always is the better choice.
作者可能一時不察，讓寫作風格受到口語對話的影響。多數人說話時通常比寫作時嘮叨，習慣在交談時一邊釐清思緒，一邊喃喃自語，在想出清楚的表達方式前，用口頭贅字填補對話中沉默的片刻。這種嘮叨在口頭交談時或許比較親切，但寫作時則不然。寫作時如果需要使用引介片語界定概念，應該簡明扼要。

The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. The first TPS Fan to complete the sentence below as we believe it should be completed will win a NTD200 7-11 / Starbucks Gift Certificate. Another Starbucks certificate will be awarded to the first Fan to complete it in an alternate way that, in our estimation, also is effective. The explanation and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page. Each brevity rule is contained in 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper and will be posted on the TPS Fan page as introduced.
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出新專欄，請你寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。題目刊登於下方，經TPS編輯教授評選為第1位最適解答的粉絲，可獲得統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元的購物禮券；增設特別獎1名，獎項給予提出符合句意又別具創意之解答的粉絲。解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS專頁。每一項簡潔準則，皆收錄於TPS新推出之「十大簡潔英文準則」，將定期刊登本專欄，敬請密切鎖定、先睹為快。

Rule # 10: Eliminate extraneous introductory phrases … An academic writer can tighten a paper and increase its readability by avoiding use of common phrases that add nothing essential to a thought or a sentence. In the sentence below, the writer employed such phrases. How can it best be written shorter and stronger?
十大簡潔英文準則十：刪除多餘的引介片語
有些常見的片語對概念或句子並沒有太大助益，學術寫作若能避免此類片語，可讓文章更加簡潔、容易閱讀。以下句子有多餘的片語，應該如何修改才能使句子更簡短有力？

題目 Contest Sentence:

“The facts of the matter are that the president is not particularly presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, who is his vice president for life.”

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“It was a perfect storm: After the heated test tube cracked, splattering technicians with the acidic solution, the scrambling techs knocked the treadmilling guinea pig off the counter and into the carnivorous fish tank.”
「這是場完美的風暴：加熱試管爆裂，酸性溶液濺了技術人員一身，腳步踉蹌的技術員把跑步機上的天竺鼠撞得跌下檯子，跌入放有肉食魚的魚缸。」

“Perfect storm” is a phrase that entered popular culture 15 years ago when a movie based on a book of the same title was released. It described a storm off the New England coast of the United States that developed after three climactic conditions converged. The result: a perfectly awful and deadly storm. The phrase—almost a cliché now—thus generally describes the coming together of several independent elements that, when combined, produce a consequence that is remarkably complete in a negative way.
「完美的風暴」原為小說名稱，十五年前搬上大銀幕後蔚為流行，描寫在美國新英格蘭沿海，三個氣候條件匯集，造成一場非常可怕而致命的風暴。「完美的風暴」一詞如今可說已是常見的陳詞，一般形容幾個獨立的因素結合起來，通盤造成負面後果。

In the laboratory incident metaphorically described as a “perfect storm,” the phrase refers not at all to the weather but to a series of sequential disasters. First, the technicians apparently overheated the glass tube. They also had set up a treadmill in a precarious place: on the edge of a countertop overlooking an open tank of flesh-eating fish. None of these situations in itself was especially noteworthy. However, they were aligned in such a way as to produce a disaster (for the pig, at least) when they came together in a flurry. It was perfectly awful.
本段句子以「完美的風暴」比喻實驗室中的意外，指的並非天氣，而是一連串的災難。首先，技術人員顯然把試管加熱過度；此外，他們還在一個危險的地方擺放跑步機，就放在檯子上，旁邊是未加蓋的魚缸，缸裡養的是肉食魚類。這些因素分開來看尚且不值得特別一提，但是在慌亂的情況下，組合在一起就會釀成災難（起碼對天竺鼠來說是場災難），而且是非常可怕的災難。

TPS的編輯教授在此歡迎關於學術文章的所有詢問，當然，其實他並沒有足夠的時間給你。他擁有終身教職的教授身份，也是著名的學術巨作作者。即便如此，他仍大方地接受你們的詢問。將關於學術方面的詢問寫在下方，你將獲得教授的親自指導，陶冶對學術的探索與啟發。
The professor awaits your query on academic writing, though in all honesty, he doesn’t have a lot of time for you. He is a tenured full professor and working on yet another magnificent academic tome. Even so, he has graciously consented to entertain your question. Submit it and prepare to be edified.

QUESTION: I have been encouraged to make my papers more “charming.” That seems like an odd word to use in describing an academic paper. Is my professor setting me up to fail?
我的教授一直鼓勵我文章要寫得「誘人」，我覺得用這個字來形容學術文章很奇怪。教授是不是要陷害我啊？

You sound oddly distrusting of your professor. In my experience, classroom instructors work hard to help their students succeed, not fail. Of course, there is the occasional miscreant standing in front of the classroom who encourages student failure as a backhanded compliment to his self-declared high standards. Tenure is wasted on such people, and I am sorry for you if you are stuck with such a don. However, I will assume for the purposes of this column that your professor has your best interests at heart in advising you to become more “charming” as a writer.
很奇怪，你聽起來好像不太信任教授。根據我的經驗，老師總是努力幫助學生，而不是陷害學生。當然，偶爾會有一些不稱職的老師當著全班的面，因為學生達不到他所謂的高標準，出言諷刺，挖苦學生。這種老師不該獲得終身職，如果你也遇上這種老師，我很同情你。不過，在這個專欄中，我假設教授是為了你著想，才提出建議，希望你的文章可以更「誘人」。

In fact, I rather like the professor’s word choice. The definition of “charming” is “extremely pleasing or delightful.” Is there something in the DNA of an academic paper that precludes writing that is delightsome and pleasant? I think not. Too many academicians—though certainly not all—seem to labor under the weight of accumulated degrees; their capacity for joy has been squeezed right out of them. Delightful writing always is acceptable and should be joyously received. Yes, academic writers must be substantive, but they should try to delight their readers.
其實我滿欣賞你教授的用字，「誘人」的意思是「讓人非常開心、愉快」。難道學術文章天生就不該讓人讀了開心、愉快嗎？我可不認為。有些學者為了累積學術地位，榨乾了精力，已經與歡笑絕緣了。我們應該接受讓人讀來愉快的文章，並且開開心心地讀。學術寫作確實必須有份量、內涵，但也應盡可能讓人讀來愉快。

A writer charms readers by pleasantly surprising them. It is true that academic writing seriously examines important topics, so it is not a place for frivolous composition. Papers are straight-line writing projects without room for detours, even pleasant ones. Yet fresh expression of ideas through imagery and imaginative word choice doesn’t sidetrack a paper. Subtle wit that is pertinent is not a defect. Writing a paper so that the eventual reader might actually enjoy it is not a perverse impulse. Remember, academic writers are two people in one: academics, and writers.
文章要吸引讀者，必須帶給讀者驚喜。誠然，學術文章必須認真檢視重要的主題，不能太輕浮；必須直截了當，沒有拐彎抹角的空間，即使這種拐彎很有趣也一樣。不過，如果文章用字能充滿意象與想像力，用耳目一新的方式表達想法，也不算是走偏了路。微妙的機智用得貼切就不算缺陷，想寫篇讓人全心全意樂於欣賞的文章也很正常。別忘了，學術作者既是學者，也應該是作家。

Answer: “;” should be “:”

“The sage declares this to be true: the difference between a book report and a dissertation is like the difference between a breezy day and a typhoon.”

Error: The writer made a punctuation mistake: The semicolon should be a colon. Two independent phrases indeed can be joined by a semicolon, with the first word of the second sentence not being capitalized. However, as in this case, when a first sentence introduces a thought or remark expressed in the second sentence, a colon is required. In British English usage, the first word after the colon is lower case, whereas most American English writers capitalize the first word. Either way, the colon ties together the two sentences in a declarative relationship; a semicolon cannot accomplish this.
本文犯了標點錯誤：文中的分號應該改用冒號。兩獨立子句確實可由分號連接，分號後的第一個字不必大寫。不過，本句第一個子句介紹的概念由第二個子句說明，就必須用冒號連接。英式英文中，冒號後第一個字小寫，而美式英文多半用大寫。總之，冒號可以連接互相表述、說明的兩個句子，分號則沒有這種功能。

下列的句子中，包含了一個錯誤，可能是文法、拼法或是標點符號的錯誤。我們將提供統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元的購物禮券，給予今天前三名挑出正確錯誤、寫出正確答案的粉絲。正確的解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS的專頁。請將你的答案寫在下方，獲得免費購物禮券的幸運兒可能就是你哦!
The sentence below contains 1 grammatical, spelling and/or punctuation error. The first three (3) TPS Fans to respond with the corrected sentence will win a NTD200 7-11/Starbucks Gift Certificate. The corrected sentence and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page. Please post your answers below. Good luck!

題目Contest Sentence:

“The sage declares this to be true; the difference between a book report and a dissertation is like the difference between a breezy day and a typhoon.”

並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“The famous Seminole Indians of Florida are not native to the state. They are not even a singular tribe. Rather, the Seminole were formed of many tribes—and named by other tribes and by British authorities on the American continent. This occurred after survivors of genuinely native peoples of Florida fled to Cuba when the Spanish swapped Florida for Cuba in the 18th century. Other ‘Seminoles’ were descendants of runaway American slaves from such African tribes as the Ibo and Ashanti. In ensuing years, this population of displaced Indians and runaway slaves migrated deeper into Florida where they established a shaky hegemony.”
This passage about the Seminole Indians of Florida in the United States is solid, but contains some notable errors. The writer describes the Seminole as “famous.” Famous for what reason? To whom? Because a subject looms large in a writer’s mind does not necessarily mean it does in minds generally. Use such adjectives thoughtfully. In writing “the Seminole were formed…,” the writer makes a classic subject-verb slip-up. “Seminole” in this case is shorthand for “Seminole tribe” and requires a singular verb, was. Or change “Seminole” to “Seminoles” and keep the plural verb. The phrase “in ensuing years” in the last sentence doesn’t work because it is unclear what preceded the years. The phrase either should be dropped or clarified.
本段文章討論美國佛羅里達州的塞米諾族印第安人，寫作出色，但有幾個明顯的錯誤。作者說塞米諾族很「出名」，但是為何出名？又在何處出名？作者心目中重要的主題，對其他人來說未必同樣重要，所以這類形容詞要謹慎使用。此外，“the Seminole were formed” 一句犯了典型的動詞搭配錯誤，在這裡 “Seminole” 是 “Seminole tribe” （塞米諾族）的簡稱，應用單數動詞 “was”，或將 “Seminole” 改成 “Seminoles”（塞米諾人），便可保留原本的複數動詞。最後一句 “in ensuing years” （隨後幾年）不合理，因為並未說明是隨著何種情況之後，此句應刪除或再加以闡明。

Acceptable 認可的文章

“The Seminole Indians of Florida are not native to the state. They are not even a singular tribe. Rather, the Seminole was formed of many tribes—and named by other tribes and by British authorities on the American continent. This occurred after survivors of genuinely native peoples of Florida fled to Cuba when the Spanish swapped Florida for Cuba in the 18th century. Other ‘Seminoles’ were descendants of runaway American slaves from such African tribes as the Ibo and Ashanti. This mixed population of displaced Indians and slaves migrated deeper into Florida where they established a shaky hegemony.”

在學術寫作中，「完美」是相對的，但也是我們追求的理想。想寫出完美的研究報告，首先選擇題目必須明智。本次學術專欄特別推出「完美撰題八大原則」，為大家介紹選擇題目的原則，每項原則將定期刊登於TPS專頁。
“Perfect” is a relative term in academic writing, but it always is the ideal. The first rule in the pursuit of perfection in a paper is to choose a topic wisely. This essay introduces and explains one guide in selecting a topic. Each guide is contained in “8 Guides in Choosing a Perfect Research Paper Topic” and will be posted on the TPS Fan page as introduced.

# 1 – Understand the assignment
原則一：了解研究報告題目

When a professor assigns a paper to a class, the implicit understanding is that a student will produce a paper in harmony with the assignment. The submitted paper may or may not be competently researched and well-written, but at the very least it is expected to be in the assigned area of research. Yet instructors still are disappointed to receive papers on, say, William Shakespeare’s classic family tragedies when the assignment was on the Bard’s sonnets.
教授指派報告時，通常預期學生的文章必須切合作業題旨。無論學生繳交的文章是否研究周詳、寫作優美，起碼必須符合指定的研究領域。不過，如果教授指派的作業是莎士比亞的十四行詩，收到報告卻討論他的經典家庭悲劇，這份報告還是達不到標準。

Researching and writing a paper that almost meets the assigned criteria isn’t good enough. Professors are the experts in their disciplines and in their classrooms. They are familiar with the many facets of a subject. They intentionally assign papers on one slice of a broader subject in the expectation that students will examine that slice in some depth. When a student chooses to write on another facet of the subject, it not only is disappointing, it portends a failing grade.
研究與寫作報告不能只求差強人意。教授是該學科的專家，也很了解班上的學生。教授對一個主題的諸多面向知之甚詳，如果有意從廣泛的主題中指定一個面向研究，表示期望學生深入探討此面向。學生如果轉而研究主題的另一個面向，作業不但達不到標準，成績大概也不及格。

Sometimes the fault lies with a professor for not clearly laying out the assignment. Sometimes it is the student who fails to grasp an assignment and to question it. As Cool Hand Luke famously said, “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” But ultimately it is the student who will suffer the most when such confusion occurs, so it is the student who must clear away the confusion before proceeding. Always know the assignment before beginning to fulfill it.
有時候教授沒有把題目解釋清楚，有時則是學生沒有領會題目，也沒有問清楚，就像《鐵窗喋血》電影中的對白：「我們溝通不良」。但說到底，如果釐不清狀況，受罪的是學生，所以學生在開始寫報告前一定要先釐清題目。記住，開始進行撰寫前，務必確實了解作業題目。

Dear Fans,

We are going to take a short break Monday, Sept. 12, to enjoy the Mid-Autumn Festival. This means you also will get a short break from TPS Fan Page activities. We both have worked hard, so we deserve it!
We’ll be back Tuesday, Sept. 13 with some more ideas to help you succeed as an academic writer. See you then!

TPS Team