TPS News

並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“Reusing abandoned structures by using them for other uses is a practice that was popular many thousand years before zoning was introduced. Obviously, the same good brains that gave early societies the idea to construct shelters for living, trading, or meeting also produced the idea of using the structures for something else entirely when the mix of needs changed. This is perfectly clear to everyone in archaeological digs, which uncover different kinds of artifacts at different levels of digging at a site. While modern regulations preclude willy-nilly reuse of structures in a municipal system, the controlled practice of re-using buildings continues, with warehouses becoming houses and homes turning into shops.”

This paper excerpt suffers from wordiness, a casual tone, and misleading grammar, among other weaknesses. The first sentence manages to incorporate “reusing,” “using” and “uses” in the first 10 words, which is overuse of a root word. The balance of the sentence is notable for oblique, general, and passive components. The second sentence begins with an “obvious” overstatement and contains a superfluous “entirely.” The third sentence insinuates universal clarity, which always is presumptuous. Then the writer misrepresents archaeological excavations: The use of a comma and “which” implies all “digs” uncover different artifacts at different levels, rather than it being true of only some of them. What other word problems do you see?
這段文章有許多缺點，例如文字冗贅、太過口語，造成誤解的文法等等。第一個句子中，開頭前十個字就擠入太多相同字根的字，包括 “reusing,”、“using”、“uses”，句子拐彎抹角、空泛，而且被動語態太多。以 “obvious” 開頭的第二個句子言過其實，而且 “entirely” 是多餘的。第三個句子則妄自揣度，以為所有人都清楚句子描述的事，接著對考古遺址的說法也有誤，在 “which” 前加了一個逗號，表示所有 “digs”（坑洞）都在不同地層找到不同的人工物，但實際上只有部分遺址有這種發現。你是否還看到其他錯誤？

Acceptable 認可的文章

“Reusing abandoned structures by adapting them to other uses is an urban practice that predates zoning by several millennia. The same human mental capacity that led early societies to construct shelters for living, trading, or meeting sparked in them the idea of repurposing the structures when the mix of needs changed. This is clear in archaeological excavations that uncover different kinds of artifacts at different periods of a structure’s occupation. While modern urban regulations preclude random reuse of structures, the controlled practice of re-adaptation continues, with warehouses becoming houses and homes becoming shops.”

在學術寫作中，「完美」是相對的，但也是我們追求的理想。想寫出完美的研究報告，首先選擇題目必須明智。本次學術專欄特別推出「完美撰題八大原則」，為大家介紹選擇題目的原則，每項原則將定期刊登於TPS專頁。
“Perfect” is a relative term in academic writing, but it always is the ideal. The first rule in the pursuit of perfection in a paper is to choose a topic wisely. This essay introduces and explains one guide in selecting a topic. Each guide is contained in “8 Guides in Choosing a Perfect Research Paper Topic” and will be posted on the TPS Fan page as introduced.

#8 – Find a topic that is intriguing or can teach
原則八 尋找耐人尋味、有啟發力的題目

In choosing a research paper topic, a writer should make a genuine effort to find one that forces him to learn something. This rule is a tough one for someone who already knows it all. For the rest of us, it applies. A familiar topic not only is more likely to have been beaten to death by previous writers, it is apt to produce nothing new. Whereas an intriguing topic will spur a curious researcher to dig, and the writer’s evident conviction will come through in the paper.
選擇研究論文題目時，應該竭力尋找能讓你從中學習的題目。這條原則對於已對主題知之甚詳的人來說不容易，卻很適合其他人。常見的題目可能已經由前人徹底討論過，也不容易有新意，而耐人尋味的題目能驅使富求知慾的研究者深入探索，在整篇論文中清楚展現研究決心。

Obviously, a writer can be too ambitious. Even when preliminary research indicates a plethora of sources are available on a topic of genuine interest, the time allowed to plumb them all might be too short. Or the complexity of a multi-layered topic might preclude handling the topic in a single paper. So finding a possible topic to be interesting is only good to a point; it also must be a topic that is suitable for encapsulating in a research paper of finite length.
當然，研究者也可能野心太高。即使初步研究顯示你感興趣的題目有非常豐富的資料，也可能時間不足，無法一一探究；也可能題目層次豐富，較為複雜，無法在單篇論文中討論清楚。所以題目除了有趣，也必須適合在篇幅有限的論文中討論。

In short, daring to delve into unfamiliar territory is a test of one’s desire to produce a paper of worth. It is an indicator of the mindset of an academic writer. Unwillingness to explore and to risk failure in a quest for learning suggests that a writer is a poseur. The cachet of scholarship and academia—and, of course, the incredible benefit of knowledge—is enviable, but the prestige comes from hard work and exemplary conviction. In other words, the title “scholar” is earned.
簡言之，勇於鑽研不熟悉的領域，可以考驗一個人是否真的想寫出有價值的論文，展現學者的氣度。在求知過程中，不願意潛心鑽研、忍受失敗，表示研究者不過是裝腔作勢。在我們羨慕學者的名聲，及知識的無盡好處時，別忘了這些威望來自勤勉為學，以及足為典範的研究心志。可以說，學者的名號是奮鬥的果實。

Answer: “begun” should be “began”

“The outer edge of the monsoon arrived onshore and the light fixture on the balcony began to sway as the wind whistled through the balustrade.”

Error: The writer began well but “begun” ended that. The sentence fragment should read… “the light fixture on the balcony began to sway…” The begin-began-begun tenses can cause problems, mostly between the latter two choices, began and begun. Simply put, the past tense word “began” stands alone, while the past participle “begun” needs another verb, such as has or have. In this sentence, “began to sway” is in grammatical harmony with “the monsoon arrived.” Had the first part of the sentence contained this phrase, “the monsoon had arrived,” the second part of the sentence might have correctly read, “and the light fixture… begun to sway…,” with the second “had” being assumed. An error such as this can spoil an otherwise fine paper.
句子開頭寫得不錯，但是 “begun” 一出現就壞了句子。這部分的句子應該改成 “the light fixture on the balcony began to sway…”（陽台上的燈具開始搖晃）。Begin-began-begun 的動詞變化常讓人出錯，尤其是過去式 began 和過去分詞 begun。簡單來說，began可以單獨使用，而 begun 需要和另一個動詞一起出現，例如 has 或 have。本句中，“began to sway” 與 “the monsoon arrived”（雨季來臨）時態一致；如果句子前半寫的是 “the monsoon had arrived”，後半部就可以寫 “and the light fixture… begun to sway…”，因為 had 前面出現過，後面可以省略。這類錯誤會破壞一篇好論文，應小心避免。

每天上Facebook總是忍不住按「讚」嗎？對於我們的專欄「讚」不釋手嗎？好消息！各位粉絲以及所有參加活動的朋友，只要從TPS過去這一年裡所刊登的英文競賽與學術專欄中，選出最喜歡的前三項並寫上理由，我們將從勾選最多、最受大家喜愛的前三個項目中，各隨機抽出兩名幸運兒，贈送誠品書店/誠品商場購物禮券，價值新台幣三百元！讓您沈浸於書香氣息之餘，亦可與三五好友一同購物與享受美食。歡迎TPS粉絲與所有參加的朋友踴躍說出心中的想法！請點入活動網頁，立即參加活動: http://www.publishedscholar.com/survey/survey.signup.php?survey_sn=14

注意事項：
1. 活動期間：即日起至12月31日止。
2. 本活動將於2012年1月5日抽獎，1月6日於TPS Facebook官網公佈幸運得主。
3. 本活動將以完成三項勾選並各寫上理由的參加者視為有效填答，即可參加抽獎。
4. 若參加者勾選超過三項，將按照所選項目之順序選擇前三項進行結果統計。例如若是勾選的是2,4,5及7,我們將以2,4,5三項進行統計。
5. 您的個人資訊僅供寄送獎品使用，絕不對外公開，敬請您放心。


Frequent user of Facebook? A big fan of TPS columns? We have some good news for you! If you have participated in any of our previous contests, or if you are simply a fan of TPS, we are now offering a chance to win a 300 NTD gift certificate to Eslite Books. Interested? Read on! From a list of eleven contests or academic columns TPS has posted over the past year, simply choose your favorite three and attach a short explanation of why the particular column or contest made it into your top three. Once all the results are in, we will tally the answers to see which three contests or columns received the most votes. From each of these columns, we will then randomly pick two lucky winners to receive an Eslite gift certificate, which can be used at any Eslite bookstore or Eslite affiliated department store or restaurant. So don't be shy and let us know how you feel about your favorite TPS activities of 2011. Click on the link below to start voting today! http://www.publishedscholar.com/survey/survey.signup.php?survey_sn=14

Note:
1.Event starts immediately. Deadline for all entries is December 31, 2011 at 11:59PM.
2.The drawing for the gift certificates will be held on January 5; winners will be announced on the TPS Facebook page the following day.
3.Entries which have not submitted three choices with reasons for their choice will not be eligible for the drawing.
4.For those who have submitted more than three choices, we will use only three of your choices for the drawing starting with the lowest numerical choice (e.g. If you picked 2,4,5, and 7, we will only use 2,4, and 5 for the drawing).
5. Any contact information you give us with only be used to send the certificate.

下列的句子中，包含了一個錯誤，可能是文法、拼法或是標點符號的錯誤。我們將提供統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元的購物禮券，給予今天前三名挑出正確錯誤、寫出正確答案的粉絲。正確的解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS的專頁。請將你的答案寫在下方，獲得免費購物禮券的幸運兒可能就是你哦!
The sentence below contains 1 grammatical, spelling and/or punctuation error. The first three (3) TPS Fans to respond with the corrected sentence will win a NTD200 7-11/Starbucks Gift Certificate. The corrected sentence and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page. Please post your answers below. Good luck!

題目Contest Sentence:

“The outer edge of the monsoon arrived onshore and the light fixture on the balcony begun to sway as the wind whistled through the balustrade.”

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“Double Ten Day is awash with lion dances, fireworks displays, and the natal feeling that the Republic’s heritage is as noble as its future is challenging.”
「雙十節時，舞獅、煙火表演一波波湧起，以及值此誕辰的體認，感受中華民國的傳統命脈不僅珍貴輝煌，同時也未來艱鉅。」

“Awash” is a condition of total immersion, as when a wave breaks across a ship’s deck and completely covers it with water, though shallowly. It describes a relatively brief moment of immersion, with a surface quickly reemerging, not yet dry but no long submerged. This contrasts with a situation in which an object is submerged for a relatively long time, or permanently, a condition known as sinking. Sunken items are not expected to rise from their immersion, whereas objects that are awash are not presumed to be in danger of sinking.
“Awash” 是指物體完全沒入水中，就像海浪沖過船的甲板，完全被水覆蓋，不過水並不深，浸入水中的時間不長，物體表面很快又露出水面，還未風乾，但也不再位於水中。相較之下，“sinking” 則指物體浸入水中一段長時間，甚至永遠浸在水裡。一般推測，物體浸在水中表示不會再露出水面，但物體被湧起的水覆蓋，表示不會一直沉沒在水裡。

In saying that Taiwan on Double Ten Day is “awash” with celebrations, the writer infers that the activities of that day will not continue for days and weeks and months. Rather, they are a brief, if annual, flurry of activity, a short dunking of the Republic in celebrations and gala events. In the context of the Republic’s history, the use of the word “awash” also connotes buoyancy and permanency. The word choice might further allude to the Republic’s maritime situation and to its political seaworthiness in rough seas or smooth.
本句形容台灣過雙十節時，“awash”（湧起）一波波的慶祝活動，作者推斷國慶日的活動不會持續好幾天，甚至幾周或幾個月，相反的，只在每年一小段時間舉行一波熱鬧的活動，只是一時沉醉在儀式與慶祝大會中。從中華民國的歷史來看，用 “awash” （湧起）這個字也隱含了國家的浮沉，可能進一步暗指中華民國海上的處境，以及在波濤洶湧或風平浪靜時的政治航程。

TPS的編輯教授在此歡迎關於學術文章的所有詢問，當然，其實他並沒有足夠的時間給你。他擁有終身教職的教授身份，也是著名的學術巨作作者。即便如此，他仍大方地接受你們的詢問。將關於學術方面的詢問寫在下方，你將獲得教授的親自指導，陶冶對學術的探索與啟發。
The professor awaits your query on academic writing, though in all honesty, he doesn’t have a lot of time for you. He is a tenured full professor and working on yet another magnificent academic tome. Even so, he has graciously consented to entertain your question. Submit it and prepare to be edified.

QUESTION: I was so embarrassed when I gave a paper to my friend to read and he later admitted that he had fallen asleep reading it. And this was in the morning after he had good night’s sleep! Seriously, how do I write an “eye-opening” paper?
有一次我把論文給朋友看，他讀一讀就睡著了，那時候是早上，而且前一天他睡得很飽。我覺得好丟臉！請告訴我，我該怎麼寫出讓人眼睛一亮的文章？

Writing snoozers comes naturally to most writers. It happens when their guard is down, at which time they settle for clichés, general terminology and lots and lots of words. To a reader of such tedious writing, catching a few Zs just seems like a natural response. So don’t blame the reader if your writing put him to sleep—and to your credit, you didn’t. Your goal now should be to produce content that sparkles, word choices that startle, and phrasing that engages your brain—all in support of lively ideas. Papers characterized by these elements produce cheers, not yawns.
很多作家寫的文章都會讓人昏昏欲睡，有時他們忘了保持警惕，文句陳腔濫調、了無新意，而且字數有夠多。讀到這麼乏味的文章，讀者打瞌睡也很自然。所以，如果你的文章讓人看了想睡，可不要怪對方，你當時沒這麼做是對的。現在你該做的是寫出內容生動、選詞精彩，表達引人注意的文章，同時要以生動的想法為主軸。論文有這些特色，就能獲得喝采，而不是引來呵欠聲。

A tired word dulls the senses in the same way fog muffles sounds, obscuring by its very presence. Imprecise words and phrases suggest an idea without really illuminating it for a reader. Wordiness clutters the mind without contributing anything to memory. A good writer works—that’s right, writing is work—to avoid all this tedium by crafting sentences, rather than mass-producing them. While a good writer might use some of the aforementioned unworthy elements in a first draft, he will replace them in later drafts with exacting, exciting, engaging language.
就像濃霧會悶住聲音，陳舊的用字也會讓意思模糊，造成文意晦澀不清。選詞不精確，就無法明確表達意思。用字繁瑣會阻礙思路，讀完什麼也不記得。好作家為了避免單調，會努力工作（寫作確實是一種工作），精心打造句子，而不是大量生產句子。一開始的草稿或許會有前述不理想的成份，但文句會進一步修改得更精確、有趣、引人注意。

How can you know whether your writing is boring or buzzworthy? The easiest way is to honestly gauge your own reaction to it. Are you bored by it? If you are, chances are excellent that your readers will be bored, too. Do this: Pick a low-energy sentence and spike it with a brazen word—say, “rowdy” instead of “boisterous”—and see if the sentence is energized. Or this: Sub an unusual word—say, “kerfuffle” for “disturbance”—and see if the sentence has a different lilt. Common words are great, but uncommon ones sometimes are greater. Experiment and learn.
要怎麼知道自己的文章是無趣或生動有力呢？最簡單的方法就是誠實地評估你對句子的反應，你會不會覺得句子很無聊？如果會，很有可能讀者也會覺得無聊。試試看，挑一句看起來了無生氣的句子，用比較大膽誇張的字眼，例如把「好鬥」換成「暴戾」，看看句子會不會更有活力。或者，也可以把常見的字換成少見的字，例如把「混亂」改成「騷亂」等等，看句子會不會更活潑。常見的詞彙很不錯，但有時少見的詞彙更出色。務必多多試驗，從中學習。

Answer: We believe the sentence is best completed this way:

“The transference of feelings toward his psychologist was strong because of her physical likeness to his mother, and he listened raptly each session like an adoring man-child.”

Those three words complete the picture of a man caught between love for his mother and affection for his psychologist. In describing the man as “adoring,” the writer built upon the stated observations that his doctor looked like his mother and that he listened to the doctor “raptly.” Had the man hated his mother, the attention paid the doctor would have been described differently, perhaps as “coldly.” And rather than describe the man simply as an adoring “son,” the writer chose instead “man-child,” which conflates the man’s feelings as an adult for his doctor and as a child for his mother. Picking words carefully is so crucial to good writing.
填上這三個字使語意更完整，形容男子陷在對母親的愛慕與對心理醫生的感情間。根據描述，心理醫生長得像母親，所以文章說男子“adoring”（充滿孺慕之情），且 “raptly”（全神貫注）地聽醫生說話。如果男子討厭母親，文章描述他對醫生的態度就會不同，或許是“coldly”（冷淡地）。文章不僅將男子形容為充滿仰慕之情的 “son”（兒子），而是選擇形容他為 “man-child”（長不大的男人），同時描寫了男子兩種感覺，既像成人依賴醫生，也像兒童依附母親。想寫出好文章，一定要注意遣詞用字。

No formula exists for the writing of a superior sentence, but this much is known: The best sentence has no weak part. The following sentence is incomplete. In 5 or fewer words, complete the sentence in a way that strengthens the whole of it. The first TPS Fan to complete the sentence as we believe it is best completed will win a NTD200 7-11 / Starbucks Gift Certificate. Another Starbucks certificate will be awarded to the first Fan to complete it in an alternate way that, in our estimation, also is effective. The explanation and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page.
怎麼寫出好句子沒有標準答案，不過起碼我們知道，優秀的句子每個環節都很完美。下面有一句未完成的句子，請用五個字以內完成句子接龍，寫出完整的句子。最先完成句子，並寫出最佳解答的一位TPS 粉絲，將獲得兩百元統一超商／星巴克禮券；另增設特別獎一名，頒給符合文意又別具創意的粉絲。接龍解答與獲獎粉絲姓名將在明天公布於本 TPS 專頁，敬請密切鎖定、先睹為快！

題目Contest Sentence:

“The transference of feelings toward his psychologist was strong because of her physical likeness to his mother, and he listened raptly each session like ___ ___ ___ ___ ___.”

並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“In driving around the outback, the geological expedition skirted past vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining companies and opal mines. No petroleum oil-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys. Occasionally they pulled out their technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic single moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, caused by a dingo attack on the other side of a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”

This piece on a geological foray into the challenging center of Australia suffers from redundancies, wordiness, and a grammatical error. It opens with a colloquial statement—“In driving around the outback…” which suggests the region was passed by, rather than entered. Similar fumbling about place occurs later in the sentence in use of the redundant “skirted past.” Skirting, after all, implies avoidance. Also redundant is “petroleum oil…” The “pulled out” terminology a little further along is a too-casual description. And in the next to last sentence, the phrase beginning “caused by a dingo attack…” seems to refer to encampment, when it actually alludes to the galloping horses. What other awkward or wordy writing do you see?
本段文章描述在澳洲險惡的內陸作地質探訪，文字多餘、冗贅，還有文法錯誤。開頭第一句 “In driving around the outback…”（在內陸地區繞）表達偏口語，且暗指探險隊沒有深入該地，只是繞過而已。句子稍後的 “skirted past” 不僅冗贅也有類似的錯誤，追究起來，skirt（繞過）有「避開」的意思。另外 “petroleum oil…” 也是冗贅的說法，兩字擇一即可。“Pulled out” 一句敘述也不夠正式。從下一句到最後一句，“caused by a dingo attack…”（因野狗攻擊造成…）開頭的子句，看起來好像野狗攻擊的是營地，但實際上野狗攻擊的應該是野馬，而使野馬狂奔。你還發現了其他不理想或冗贅的用法嗎？

Acceptable 認可的文章

“In traversing the outback, the geological expedition skirted vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining operations and opal mines. No petroleum-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys, with occasional resorts to technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, the animals apparently fleeing from a dingo attack beyond a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”