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 並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“The community pottery place in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artistic pottery, with potters arriving shortly after sunup for mixing, spinning, and smoothing of their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining hours of the day were reserved for painting or etching their creations, with distracted conversations mixed in about the craft or their families or the marketplace. Firing was reserved for the evening so that the kilns’ heat could be endured and, in some seasons, enjoyed as a real comfort against the chill of the coming night.”

This passage on a center for the making of potteryware is interesting in its images, but suffers from inexactness in its wording. The writer refers to a “pottery place,” which is a redundancy. “Pottery” says it all, a place where potters craft potteryware. The pottery output is called “artistic,” when in fact much of it probably is purely functional in design but nonetheless is crafted by artisans. “Sunup” verges on being colloquial as opposed to sunrise or dawn. The writer also suggests “the remaining hours of the day” were spent painting and etching, when he meant the remaining daylight hours were thus spent. A day runs till midnight. Other weaknesses?
這篇陶器館的段落描述很有意思，但美中不足的是寫作不精。文中寫道「pottery place」，其實「pottery」一個字就是指陶匠製造陶器的地方。文中又用「artistic」（藝術性的） 形容陶器，不過許多陶器是做來使用的，只不過是由工匠 (artisan) 製作。「Sunup」一字比起 sunrise 或 dawn 顯得口語，另外文中提到「the remaining hours of the day」（一天中剩餘的時間），但其實指的是白天剩餘的時間，從白天到夜晚都可以算是一天。你還看到其他問題嗎？

Acceptable 認可的文章

“The communal pottery in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artisanal potteryware, with potters arriving shortly after dawn to mix, spin, and smooth their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining daylight hours were given over to painting or etching of creations, interspersed with distracted conversations about the craft, or their families, or the market. Firing was reserved for evening so that the heat of kilns was bearable and, in some seasons, could provide genuine comfort against the chill of approaching night.”

 A writer peering ahead at an academic writing project should respect the task. It not only will require research and writing abilities, it will tax the writer’s endurance and concentration. Learning to become efficient and self-regulating as a researcher and writer is the reason for this series, “7 Ways to Pace Yourself through a Paper.” Each of the suggestions will be presented on the TPS Fan page before being compiled.
若您即將致力於學術寫作專題，應該好好重視這項工作。這不僅需要研究與寫作技巧，也仰賴毅力與專注。「按部就班寫作論文的七大步驟」將教您學會如何自律，提高研究與寫作的效率。每項建議都會刊登在 TPS 粉絲專頁，並在最後集結於 TPS 學術電子報中。

Way # 4 – Know your writing strengths and weaknesses
建議四：了解自己寫作的長短處

The Greeks advised subsequent generations of mankind to “know thyself.” The adage acknowledges the difficulty an individual has in sorting through the many facets of his being and honestly acknowledging his character. We tend to make excuses or to wishfully inflate our abilities. An academic writer is no less prone to glossing over weaknesses. A long-term writing project is no place to fool oneself. Rather, it is when a writer should practice total self-honesty.
希臘人有句忠告流傳後世：「了解你自己」。這句格言說明，一個人要了解自己的特性，坦白面對自己的個性，其實並不容易。人容易為自己找藉口，或一廂情願地誇大自己的能力，寫作學術文章時也不例外，傾向粉飾自己的缺點。但論文寫作需要花很長時間，就不能自欺欺人。此時，作者應該練習完全坦率面對自己的能力。

Do you have the imagination and predisposition to “see” the general outline of a paper as you research it? Some writers can easily extrapolate what they know and roughly project it into a finished written product before they ever begin the actual word-by-word creative process. Or maybe your strength is your vocabulary. If you are word rich, enrich your paper. (Be careful, though, not to lard your paper with so much erudite language that it begins to get in the way.)
研究時，是否有足夠的想像力與天賦，「看出」論文的全貌？有些研究者在逐字撰寫論文前，就能輕鬆從已知推斷論文完稿的樣貌。或者文采是你的強項？若你詞藻豐富，大可用來充實自己的論文（只是要小心，不要堆砌太多深奧的詞彙，以免妨礙閱讀）。

Just as important is to know your weaknesses. Do you have difficulty concentrating for effective lengths of time? Do you write half an hour and then take an hour’s break? This is a problem. Recognize it and either schedule plenty of time for the project or learn to lengthen your focus. Do you habitually and extensively rewrite? Plan to finish a first draft in time to allow for successive ones. In short, pace yourself according to your actual writing skills and habits, not imagined ones.
認識自己的缺點也一樣重要。你是否很難長時間集中精神？會不會每寫半小時就休息一小時？你必須認清這個問題，或預留大量時間完成文章，或學習長時間保持專注。你是否習慣大幅修改重寫？你必須規劃及早完成初稿，後續才有時間修改。簡言之，你不能仰賴自以為是的技巧與習慣，必須根據實際的技巧與習慣，按部就班寫作論文。

 Answer: We believe the sentence is best completed this way:

“When the Doberman surprised the bungling intruder, the compactly built dog bounded across the entranceway and threw itself at the man as if it were welcoming him home.”

The dog’s attack on the home invader is a serious matter, for the man and the home owner. A Doberman Pinscher originally was bred as a guard dog, so it is muscled and a genuine physical threat to a person. In this instance, however, it is possible to introduce irony as a way to describe the attack, saying the animal is racing to the man “as if it were welcoming him home.” Were the animal growling as it attacked, such a description would not work. Using the ironic description does two things: It plays off the “bungling” of the intruder, suggesting a comic scene rather than a violent one. And it creates an edgy juxtaposition that startles the reader. Startling is good.
狗攻擊闖入家裡的小偷，對小偷和屋主來說都是很嚴重的事。杜賓犬一開始繁殖是作為守衛犬之用，因此肌肉強健，對人很危險。不過在本句中，卻可以用諷刺的語氣描述杜賓狗的攻擊，形容狗像「迎接他回家」一樣衝向小偷。如果狗一邊攻擊一邊咆哮，這樣的形容就不適合了。諷刺語氣有兩個作用，一是嘲弄闖入的「笨」(bungling) 賊，創造滑稽效果，避免過於暴力；另外，也產生了強烈對比，出乎讀者意料。出人意表是件好事。

 No formula exists for the writing of a superior sentence, but this much is known: The best sentence has no weak part. The following sentence is incomplete. In five or fewer words, complete the sentence in a way that strengthens the whole of it. The first TPS Fan to complete the sentence as we believe it is best completed will win a NTD200 Eslite Bookstore and Shopping Mall Gift Certificate. Another Eslite certificate will be awarded to the first Fan to complete it in an alternate way that, in our estimation, also is effective. The explanation and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page.
怎麼寫出好句子沒有標準答案，不過起碼我們知道，優秀的句子每個環節都很完美。下面有一句未完成的句子，請用五個字以內完成句子接龍，寫出完整的句子。最先完成句子，並寫出最佳解答的一位TPS 粉絲，將獲得兩百元誠品圖書商場購物禮卷；另增設特別獎一名，頒給符合文意又別具創意的粉絲。接龍解答與獲獎粉絲姓名將在明天公布於本 TPS 專頁，敬請密切鎖定、先睹為快！

題目Contest Sentence:

“When the Doberman surprised the unsuspecting intruder, the heavily muscled dog bounded across the entranceway and threw itself at the man as if ___ ___ ___ ___ ___.”

 很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“The searchers moved into the area in single file, talking quietly forward and backward along the line, before reaching a tree-less area and fanning out.”
「搜索隊成一縱列進入該區域，輕聲前後傳話，接著進入沒有樹木的區域並擴展散開。」

A hand fan is an ancient response to still, warm air and the discomfort that can arise from it. Its roots go back many centuries in both Asia and Europe, dating respectively to the second and fourth centuries BC. Individual crude fans presumably predate those manufactured ones. The fans were made of light but stiffened materials, some constructed from nature (feathers) and some from man’s ingenuity (paper). The devices were of two basic designs: rigid and folding. The latter became a stylistic statement as well as a tool for coquetry and coy flirtation.
古時若空氣凝滯燠熱，令人不適，便會用上手持的扇子。手持扇起源於許多個世紀前，在亞洲可追溯至公元前二世紀，歐洲可追溯至公元前四世紀。個人自行製作、未多加工的扇子，年代大約又早於成批製造的扇子。扇子的材料質輕堅硬，有些取自天然（如羽毛），有些得自人造（紙類）；設計特點有二，一是堅固，二是能折疊。折疊不僅獨具風格，也便於賣弄風騷、掩面調情。

The term “fanning out” is specifically linked to folding fans. The devices are stored with their folding stems collapsed together into a single shaft. In this way a folding fan is easily transported in a pocket. For use, the fan is grasped in the palm of the hand with the thumb pushing sideways upon the top stem to open it, the other stems trailing behind. Thus, one narrow stem becomes several stems spread widely, with the attached covering material ready to move the still air. Similarly, the line of searchers spreads out to cover a broad stretch of ground during one pass.
本句「fanning out」一詞和摺扇有關，摺扇平常扇骨收攏，疊為一柄，方便置於袋中攜帶。使用時，則以手持扇，拇指將最外層的扇骨一推，其餘扇骨也就隨之展開。如此一來，原先一柄細窄的扇子，便舒展出數柄扇骨，覆蓋骨上的扇面就能用來搧風。本句中，搜索隊也同樣四散展開，在一次搜索中搜尋一片廣大區域。

 Many thanks to our fathers. Today we celebrate their efforts to make sweet homes for us. We hope you will take the opportunity to be with your father and other family members for this happy occasion. See you tomorrow.

 TPS的編輯教授在此歡迎關於學術文章的所有詢問，當然，其實他並沒有足夠的時間給你。他擁有終身教職的教授身份，也是著名的學術巨作作者。即便如此，他仍大方地接受你們的詢問。將關於學術方面的詢問寫在下方，你將獲得教授的親自指導，陶冶對學術的探索與啟發。
The professor awaits your query on academic writing, though in all honesty, he doesn’t have a lot of time for you. He is a tenured full professor and working on yet another magnificent academic tome. Even so, he has graciously consented to entertain your question. Submit it and prepare to be edified.

QUESTION: I love poetry and wrote a paper on a favorite sonnet, but it was not well-received by the instructor. “Too much feeling, not enough analysis,” he said. On writing about subjects I love, what is the best way to downplay my feelings?
我迷戀詩歌，我以最喜歡的十四行詩為題寫了一篇論文，但是指導教授不怎麼欣賞，他說：「太多感覺，太少分析」。以我最喜歡的題材寫論文時，如何盡量淡化我的感覺？

You seem to be a passionate person, not only liking subjects or finding them interesting, but loving them. This is admirable and shows a verve for life and, perhaps, for academic writing, which bodes well for a career as a scholar. However, there is a distinction between aggressively and enthusiastically researching a topic and imbuing the subsequent paper with great emotion. The academic realm is built upon analytical and grounded thinking and composition; feelings are suspect because they can betray logic and deduction. Such betrayal is not rewarded in academia.
你似乎充滿熱情，對寫作主題不僅是喜歡或有興趣，而是迷戀。這種精神令人欽佩，展現對生活的熱情，或許也展現了對學術寫作的熱情，能助學術生涯一臂之力。不過，積極熱情地研究一個主題，然後在論文中注入強烈的感情，或許又另當別論。學術研究奠基於有條理、有基礎的思考與寫作，感覺並不可靠，因為感覺可能違背邏輯與推論，因此缺乏學術價值。

You don’t want to train yourself to “feel” less strongly in subsequent assignments—passion is not a weakness—but you would be wise to channel your feelings into substantive, factual analysis and conclusions. There is great power in strong writing that is not diffident about making a point, especially if it challenges conventional wisdom. But the strength of the writing should be in its intellectual vigor rather than its emotive underpinning. Choose words that characterize subjects in concrete terms rather than in illusory, heart-felt, disputable terms.
你不必在之後的作業裡，練習不去「感覺」，熱情並非弱點。但是你可以引導自己的感受，轉化為實在的、實事求是的分析與結論。如果你的文章不怯於提出自己的論點，特別是挑戰傳統觀念的論點，便能展現強大的力量。論文的優勢應該展現在活躍的知識分析，而非感情基礎。闡述主題時，遣詞用字應該具體，而非虛幻、強調感受、有所爭議。

Poetry, as an example, is full of imagery, structure, meter, and rhyme. The language of an academic paper also can effectively contain images and effortlessly flow to a conclusion like any other masterly writing. But the content is prose, and should be a work of hard analysis, discerning examination, deep understanding, and critical thinking. If you can work in flattering comment about a poet or poem without compromising your standing as a scholar, fine. Otherwise, let the love be felt in the intensity of the research and utter honesty of the writing.
以詩歌為例，詩自有其意象、結構、格律與韻腳。論文也能像其他精湛的文章一樣，包含有力的意象，並流暢自然地引出結論。但論文並非韻文，應該以確實的分析、敏銳的檢驗、深刻的理解，以及批判性的思考為重。如果你褒獎一首詩或詩人，但又不損及學術立場，那就無所謂。否則，你對主題的熱情應該展現在縝密的研究與勤懇的寫作上。

 Suggested answer: “The hippopotami surfaced after being submerged for several minutes and, spotting the wayward tourist, churned the water with his powerful, short legs and charged.”

The hippopotamus is a huge, relatively slow-moving mammal with a notably gaping mouth. It doesn’t much care for human beings, particularly when a baby hippo is in the picture. In the sentence, the animal is aroused by the sight of a tourist and immediately pursues it. We believe the best verb to describe the animal’s leg movement is “churned,” meaning to “stir, or agitate violently.” This captures both intent and motion. Other useable words in this context include “chopped” and “cleaved,” but neither as effectively conveys the malevolent attitude of the hippo.
河馬這種哺乳動物體型巨大、行動較為遲緩，對人類沒什麼好感，尤其有小河馬要照顧的時候。本句中，河馬一看到遊客，立刻激動起來，起身追逐。我們認為要形容河馬腿部的動作，最好的動詞是「churned」，意思是翻攪或猛烈的攪動，這個動詞同時展現了河馬的意圖與動作。此處其他可用的動詞包括「chopped」（跺）或「cleaved」（切），但這兩個動詞都沒辦法確實傳達出河馬的攻擊態度。

 The sentence below is missing a verb. However, the first letter of the verb is provided. Insert a word that starts with the given first letter and best fits the tenor of the sentence, and then defend your word choice in five or fewer words. The first TPS Fan to respond with the judge’s choice of verb—or the most effective alternate verb— will win a ¬¬¬NTD 200 Starbucks Gift Certificate. The name of the winner will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page. Good luck!
以下句子缺少動詞，請加入一個最符合句子意思且符合空格開頭字母的動詞，以及五個字以內的理由，我們將提供7-11／星巴克咖啡禮券兩百元，頒給第一位想出最佳解答或是最佳替代字的第1位粉絲。解答與獲獎粉絲姓名將在明天公布於本 TPS 專頁。請將答案寫在下方，幸運兒可能就是你！

題目Contest Sentence:

“The hippopotami surfaced after being submerged for several minutes and, spotting the wayward tourist, c________ the water with his powerful, short legs and charged.”

並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“Climbing a rock wall is a physical challenge, but the greatest challenge is mental. Gravity works against every finger- and toe-hold—dragging down against every heroic effort to pull oneself up—meaning that arm, leg, and back muscles must be constantly working. Even with safety lines, muscle relaxation never really happens till the top is reached. Yet the mental exertion of a climb can be equally hard. Looking up or down a sheer cliff can be disorienting and a little scary. An experienced climber braces himself mentally before starting his climb.”

This snapshot of the rigors of climbing a rocky cliff manages to capture the intensity of the sport. Yet its language is weak. In the first sentence, the writer writes about the “greatest” of challenges. Because the list of challenges number only two, the proper comparative is “greater.” An effort to pull oneself up is termed “heroic;” in the absence of any information to consider it such, the word is inappropriate. Exertion is described as “hard,” when in fact it is a depletable asset that needs replenishing. What other weaknesses do you see in the writing?
這段文字概略形容攀岩的挑戰，努力呈現攀岩運動的激烈，不過遣詞用字卻不夠有力。第一句後半提到「greatest」（最大的）挑戰，不過這裡只列出兩種挑戰，所以比較級「greater」比較適切。文中又用「heroic」（英勇的）形容往上攀爬的動作，但缺乏佐證訊息，因此這種形容並不適當。另外，文中又以「hard」（艱困）形容所費的心力，但心力其實是種會耗費、必須補充的資產。你在文中還看到其他缺點嗎？

Acceptable 認可的文章

“Climbing a rock wall is a physical challenge, but the greater challenge is mental. Gravity works against every action of a climber—dragging down against his every effort to pull himself up—meaning that arm, leg, and torso muscles must be constantly tensed. Even with safety lines, muscle relaxation never really occurs on a climb. Yet the mental exertion of the climb can be even more taxing. Looking up—let alone down—a sheer cliff can be disorienting and somewhat frightening. An experienced climber always braces himself mentally before taking his first step.”