This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The Korea temple is structured in perfect balance, a harmony of straight lines, curved surfaces, and squared spaces. The figures carved against the wall are all exquisitely carved. The idea for the grotto came from cave temples in China. However, those statues in China were cut into the surface of a rock cliff; the Korea figurines stand in a manmade enclosure, which consists of a round interior room with a domed ceiling and a rectangular entranceway chamber.”
This paragraph has much to recommend it, including directness, effective description and correct punctuation. However, it begins to fall apart with the second word—Korea. Because it is used to modify the next word, “temple,” the word should be “Korean.” To say the temple figures were carved “against” the wall is confusing. More accurately, they were carved on or in the wall, depending upon whether they were bas-relief or nearly fully formed. Calling the carvings both “figures” and, later, “figurines” is sloppy; they are not the same. Finally, the two ending words should have been one, because “entranceway” implies foyer, or hall, or “chamber.” Can you find other weaknesses in the writing?
本文有許多可取之處，例如行文直截了當、描述得當，標點符號正確。然而，文章從第二個字 “Korea” 就洩了氣；該字用來修飾下一個字 “temple”，所以應該用 “Korean” 才對。形容廟裡的雕像「對著牆雕」(carved “against” the wall) 令人難以理解，若雕像為浮雕，正確說法應為「雕在牆面」(carved “on” the wall)，若為立體雕塑，則應用「雕在牆上」(carved “in” the wall)。此外，“figures” 和 “figurines” 兩字意思不同，混用兩字稱呼雕像也不甚理想。最後，結尾的 “entranceway” 和 “chamber” 兩字擇一即可，因為 “entranceway” 本身就有「前廳」、「大廳」或「廳室」(chamber) 的意思。你還能看出這篇文章的其他缺點嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The Korean temple is structured in perfect balance, a harmony of straight lines, curved surfaces, and squared spaces. The figures carved on the wall are all exquisitely cut. The grotto was modeled on cave temples in China. However, the representational figures in China were cut into the surface of a rock cliff; the Korean figures stand in a fabricated enclosure, which consists of a round inner chamber with a domed ceiling and a rectangular entranceway.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The Korea temple is structured in perfect balance, a harmony of straight lines, curved surfaces, and squared spaces. The figures carved against the wall are all exquisitely carved. The idea for the grotto came from cave temples in China. However, those statues in China were cut into the surface of a rock cliff; the Korea figurines stand in a manmade enclosure, which consists of a round interior room with a domed ceiling and a rectangular entranceway chamber.”
This paragraph has much to recommend it, including directness, effective description and correct punctuation. However, it begins to fall apart with the second word—Korea. Because it is used to modify the next word, “temple,” the word should be “Korean.” To say the temple figures were carved “against” the wall is confusing. More accurately, they were carved on or in the wall, depending upon whether they were bas-relief or nearly fully formed. Calling the carvings both “figures” and, later, “figurines” is sloppy; they are not the same. Finally, the two ending words should have been one, because “entranceway” implies foyer, or hall, or “chamber.” Can you find other weaknesses in the writing?
本文有許多可取之處，例如行文直截了當、描述得當，標點符號正確。然而，文章從第二個字 “Korea” 就洩了氣；該字用來修飾下一個字 “temple”，所以應該用 “Korean” 才對。形容廟裡的雕像「對著牆雕」(carved “against” the wall) 令人難以理解，若雕像為浮雕，正確說法應為「雕在牆面」(carved “on” the wall)，若為立體雕塑，則應用「雕在牆上」(carved “in” the wall)。此外，“figures” 和 “figurines” 兩字意思不同，混用兩字稱呼雕像也不甚理想。最後，結尾的 “entranceway” 和 “chamber” 兩字擇一即可，因為 “entranceway” 本身就有「前廳」、「大廳」或「廳室」(chamber) 的意思。你還能看出這篇文章的其他缺點嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The Korean temple is structured in perfect balance, a harmony of straight lines, curved surfaces, and squared spaces. The figures carved on the wall are all exquisitely cut. The grotto was modeled on cave temples in China. However, the representational figures in China were cut into the surface of a rock cliff; the Korean figures stand in a fabricated enclosure, which consists of a round inner chamber with a domed ceiling and a rectangular entranceway.”
Posted at 2011-06-23 10:13:26
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