Common writing errors by non-native speakers of English #3: Passive Voice 非英文母語者常見寫作錯誤之三：被動語態(Passive Voice)
身為專業譯者與編輯，多年來為許多英語非母語人士修改與潤飾文章，發覺華人從事英文寫作時常犯的錯誤，在於落入中文的語法陷阱中、或是無意識受到中文影響而使用不該用的措辭，造成詞不達意而無法精確地用英文的句構邏輯連結起來，但也可能僅是對於英文句法結構的不熟悉所致。此次推出的新專欄希望能帶領讀者發現常見的英文寫作陷阱，並避免將這些謬誤帶入文章當中。新專欄並非在教導文法規則，而是提出一些觀點，提點寫作者如何提升英文寫作風格與文字說服力。
As an editor and translator with years of experience in correcting English written by non-native speakers, I have come across certain areas that seem to be major pitfalls for Chinese speakers when writing in English. These mistakes are usually the writer’s Chinese grammar or diction unconsciously coming out in their English exposition, or perhaps simply a unfamiliarity with English composition at its higher levels. This monthly column can teach you to spot these common writing pitfalls and thus avoid having them find their way into your English composition. It will not be a list of grammar rules to follow, but instead a look into how we can improve the style and force of our English writing.
In English we have both the passive and active voice. For those who are unfamiliar with the difference, why don't we do a quick review?
英文有主動與被動兩種語態。對於那些不熟悉兩者差異的讀者，我們何不來個簡單回顧呢？
When using the active voice, we have the standard subject—verb—object construction.
當我們使用主動式時，必須要有「主詞—動詞—受詞」這樣的標準結構。
He eats the pie. 他 吃 派。
S V O 主詞 動詞 受詞
I will see him on Friday. 星期五我將會看到 他。
S V O 主詞 動詞 受詞
Passive voice is reversed; the object/person receiving the action becomes subject of the sentence, while the actor is moved to end of the sentence (or is sometimes entirely absent).
被動語態呈現相反的句構。受詞（或是人）接受到動作而成為句子的主詞，但是行為者卻被移至句尾（或有時候完全省略）。
He eats the pie. —active
他吃派。—主動式
The pie was eaten by him. —passive
派被他吃了。—被動式
I will see him on Friday. —active
星期五我將會看到他。—主動式
He will be seen by me on Friday. —passive
星期五他將會被我看到。—被動式
Today’s topic is a bit tricky as use of the passive voice is not wrong and sometimes even preferred over the active voice. However, unless you are writing for an academic journal where the use of the passive voice is usually required, taking steps to counter the overuse of passive voice will go a long way in helping with the overall readability of your sentences and ideas. Let’s now take a look at some English sentences written by Chinese speakers that illustrate this idea.
這一次的主題有點複雜，因為使用被動語態並沒有錯，有時甚至優於主動語態。然而，除非您正在寫一篇學術期刊，期刊通常需要使用到被動語態，否則，減少大量使用被動語態，才能幫助讀者在閱讀的過程中更快了解句意。現在就讓我們來看看一些由華人寫出來的英文句子，恰好說明了這種情形。
1)Hundreds of volunteers were mobilized this morning to assist with the loading, as all hope these supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
今天早上數百名志工 被動員起來去協助裝載補給品，因為所有希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
Interestingly enough, this first example shows how the passive voice can be used both correctly and incorrectly. If our sentence was “Hundreds of volunteers were mobilized this morning to assist with the loading” then this would be a perfectly good use of the passive voice. Why? Because in this example, the actor, (i.e. the group or person that mobilized the volunteers) is not as important to the overall meaning of the sentence as the recipient of the action (i.e. the hundreds of volunteers who were mobilized) and thus it can be safely left out by using the passive voice.
有趣的是，第一個例句可以同時示範被動語態如何使用的正確與不正確。如果句子是「今天早上數百名志工被動員起來去協助裝載補給品」，那麼這是使用被動語態的好示範。為什麼呢？因為在本例句中的「行為者」（也就是動員志工的某人或某團體）在整句話的涵義裡並沒有接受動作者（也就是被動員起來的數百名志工）來得重要，因此使用被動語態時將行為者省略是比較好的。
The problem is that the author continues with “as all hope these supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.” “All” is an indefinite pronoun that stands in for the subject of the sentence; however, since the author has used the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is unknown. As a consequence, we are left in the dark regarding the identity of the person/entity the pronoun “all” is being used in place of. To address this problem, returning the sentence back to the active voice seems to be our best bet. Here are some possible solutions:
問題在於，當作者在後面接著寫「因為所有希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中」。「所有」是用來當作句子主詞的不特定代名詞；然而，由於作者已在前一句使用被動語態，此時句中的主詞未知。但後一句寫出「所有」這個不定代名詞，反而會讓讀者不知「all」是指誰而感到模糊不清。為了避免這個狀況，將句子改成主動語態似乎是我們最好的選擇。下面是一些建議的寫法：
S V O
1a)The church mobilized hundreds of volunteers this morning to assist with the loading; it hopes the supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
主詞 動詞 受詞
1a) 教會 今天早上動員了 數百名志工 去協助裝載補給品； 它 希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
or
或者
S V O
1b)Hundreds of volunteers mobilized this morning to assist with the loading, all in the hopes that the supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
主詞 動詞 受詞
1b)數百名志工 今天早上 動員起來 去協助裝載補給品，所有人都希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
Now our second example:
現在讓我們看看第二個例句：
2)With the assistance of countries across the globe, it is hoped that Nepal and its citizen can regain the strength to face the long road to recovery.
因為有來自全球各地的援助，它希望尼泊爾和其人民能夠重新獲得力量去面對漫長的復甦之路。
Once again the passive voice here is not wrong, simply awkward. If, in the preceding sentence, the author made clear who is it that “hopes”, then our example might stand as it is. However, I believe this sentence would be considerably strengthened by changing it to the active voice. One example:
再一次強調，被動語態在這裡並沒有錯，只是顯得尷尬不合適。若作者在前一句明確寫出是誰「希望」，那麼例句句義的呈現會更加完整。然而，我認為此句使用主動式才能更加重句子的語氣。例如：
2a)With the assistance of countries across the globe, charity organizations hope that Nepal and its citizens can regain the strength to face the long road to recovery.
因為有來自全球各地的援助，慈善機構希望尼泊爾和其人民能夠重新獲得力量去面對漫長的復甦之路。
In conclusion, when using passive voice it is important to ask yourself if your sentence is adequately clear. Sometimes we don’t care about the actor of a sentence, or perhaps the actor can be inferred from context, in situations like this the passive voice can be more direct and clear. However, when in doubt stick to the active voice. Your readers will thank you.
總而言之，當使用被動語態時，請問問自己句子是否表達得夠清楚。有時候我們不在乎句子的行為者，或是從文中就能推測出行為者是誰，諸如這些前提下，那麼可以使用被動語態讓句子更直接和明確。然而，每當感到不確定時，就使用主動語態吧。相信您的讀者會感謝您。
That’s it for this month. We hoped you all enjoyed reading this column and if you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to contact us at TPS.
上述這些就是本月份首要提點各位寫作者的常見錯誤，希望大家喜歡此專欄內容並有所助益。若您有任何疑問或建議，請隨時與我們TPS聯繫。
As an editor and translator with years of experience in correcting English written by non-native speakers, I have come across certain areas that seem to be major pitfalls for Chinese speakers when writing in English. These mistakes are usually the writer’s Chinese grammar or diction unconsciously coming out in their English exposition, or perhaps simply a unfamiliarity with English composition at its higher levels. This monthly column can teach you to spot these common writing pitfalls and thus avoid having them find their way into your English composition. It will not be a list of grammar rules to follow, but instead a look into how we can improve the style and force of our English writing.
In English we have both the passive and active voice. For those who are unfamiliar with the difference, why don't we do a quick review?
英文有主動與被動兩種語態。對於那些不熟悉兩者差異的讀者，我們何不來個簡單回顧呢？
When using the active voice, we have the standard subject—verb—object construction.
當我們使用主動式時，必須要有「主詞—動詞—受詞」這樣的標準結構。
He eats the pie. 他 吃 派。
S V O 主詞 動詞 受詞
I will see him on Friday. 星期五我將會看到 他。
S V O 主詞 動詞 受詞
Passive voice is reversed; the object/person receiving the action becomes subject of the sentence, while the actor is moved to end of the sentence (or is sometimes entirely absent).
被動語態呈現相反的句構。受詞（或是人）接受到動作而成為句子的主詞，但是行為者卻被移至句尾（或有時候完全省略）。
He eats the pie. —active
他吃派。—主動式
The pie was eaten by him. —passive
派被他吃了。—被動式
I will see him on Friday. —active
星期五我將會看到他。—主動式
He will be seen by me on Friday. —passive
星期五他將會被我看到。—被動式
Today’s topic is a bit tricky as use of the passive voice is not wrong and sometimes even preferred over the active voice. However, unless you are writing for an academic journal where the use of the passive voice is usually required, taking steps to counter the overuse of passive voice will go a long way in helping with the overall readability of your sentences and ideas. Let’s now take a look at some English sentences written by Chinese speakers that illustrate this idea.
這一次的主題有點複雜，因為使用被動語態並沒有錯，有時甚至優於主動語態。然而，除非您正在寫一篇學術期刊，期刊通常需要使用到被動語態，否則，減少大量使用被動語態，才能幫助讀者在閱讀的過程中更快了解句意。現在就讓我們來看看一些由華人寫出來的英文句子，恰好說明了這種情形。
1)Hundreds of volunteers were mobilized this morning to assist with the loading, as all hope these supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
今天早上數百名志工 被動員起來去協助裝載補給品，因為所有希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
Interestingly enough, this first example shows how the passive voice can be used both correctly and incorrectly. If our sentence was “Hundreds of volunteers were mobilized this morning to assist with the loading” then this would be a perfectly good use of the passive voice. Why? Because in this example, the actor, (i.e. the group or person that mobilized the volunteers) is not as important to the overall meaning of the sentence as the recipient of the action (i.e. the hundreds of volunteers who were mobilized) and thus it can be safely left out by using the passive voice.
有趣的是，第一個例句可以同時示範被動語態如何使用的正確與不正確。如果句子是「今天早上數百名志工被動員起來去協助裝載補給品」，那麼這是使用被動語態的好示範。為什麼呢？因為在本例句中的「行為者」（也就是動員志工的某人或某團體）在整句話的涵義裡並沒有接受動作者（也就是被動員起來的數百名志工）來得重要，因此使用被動語態時將行為者省略是比較好的。
The problem is that the author continues with “as all hope these supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.” “All” is an indefinite pronoun that stands in for the subject of the sentence; however, since the author has used the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is unknown. As a consequence, we are left in the dark regarding the identity of the person/entity the pronoun “all” is being used in place of. To address this problem, returning the sentence back to the active voice seems to be our best bet. Here are some possible solutions:
問題在於，當作者在後面接著寫「因為所有希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中」。「所有」是用來當作句子主詞的不特定代名詞；然而，由於作者已在前一句使用被動語態，此時句中的主詞未知。但後一句寫出「所有」這個不定代名詞，反而會讓讀者不知「all」是指誰而感到模糊不清。為了避免這個狀況，將句子改成主動語態似乎是我們最好的選擇。下面是一些建議的寫法：
S V O
1a)The church mobilized hundreds of volunteers this morning to assist with the loading; it hopes the supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
主詞 動詞 受詞
1a) 教會 今天早上動員了 數百名志工 去協助裝載補給品； 它 希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
or
或者
S V O
1b)Hundreds of volunteers mobilized this morning to assist with the loading, all in the hopes that the supplies may reach the hands of the survivors as soon as possible.
主詞 動詞 受詞
1b)數百名志工 今天早上 動員起來 去協助裝載補給品，所有人都希望這些物資能盡快送到倖存者的手中。
Now our second example:
現在讓我們看看第二個例句：
2)With the assistance of countries across the globe, it is hoped that Nepal and its citizen can regain the strength to face the long road to recovery.
因為有來自全球各地的援助，它希望尼泊爾和其人民能夠重新獲得力量去面對漫長的復甦之路。
Once again the passive voice here is not wrong, simply awkward. If, in the preceding sentence, the author made clear who is it that “hopes”, then our example might stand as it is. However, I believe this sentence would be considerably strengthened by changing it to the active voice. One example:
再一次強調，被動語態在這裡並沒有錯，只是顯得尷尬不合適。若作者在前一句明確寫出是誰「希望」，那麼例句句義的呈現會更加完整。然而，我認為此句使用主動式才能更加重句子的語氣。例如：
2a)With the assistance of countries across the globe, charity organizations hope that Nepal and its citizens can regain the strength to face the long road to recovery.
因為有來自全球各地的援助，慈善機構希望尼泊爾和其人民能夠重新獲得力量去面對漫長的復甦之路。
In conclusion, when using passive voice it is important to ask yourself if your sentence is adequately clear. Sometimes we don’t care about the actor of a sentence, or perhaps the actor can be inferred from context, in situations like this the passive voice can be more direct and clear. However, when in doubt stick to the active voice. Your readers will thank you.
總而言之，當使用被動語態時，請問問自己句子是否表達得夠清楚。有時候我們不在乎句子的行為者，或是從文中就能推測出行為者是誰，諸如這些前提下，那麼可以使用被動語態讓句子更直接和明確。然而，每當感到不確定時，就使用主動語態吧。相信您的讀者會感謝您。
That’s it for this month. We hoped you all enjoyed reading this column and if you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to contact us at TPS.
上述這些就是本月份首要提點各位寫作者的常見錯誤，希望大家喜歡此專欄內容並有所助益。若您有任何疑問或建議，請隨時與我們TPS聯繫。
Posted at 2015-07-16 22:43:39
最新回應