This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The biochemist felt like a popular celebrity. She was awkwardly asked for autographs by her peers and assistants, who should know better. She was greeted with wild applause whenever she entered any room. She was granted the authority that she had sought unsuccessfully for years to explore new ideas wherever she found them. These were the perquisites of her success in the volatile world of venture research with all its ups and downs. It is a place where science meets a commercial market and simply applying a clinical procedure can produce a wildly popular commercial product. But she was not charmed by the abrupt attention. She realized that she should use it to move ahead toward her secret professional goals.”
This writer addresses an interesting subject: how private research can culminate in public acclaim. It explores some of the dynamics of popularity. However, the writer clutters the writing with extra words and unneeded phrases. For example, a “popular celebrity” is mostly a redundant expression, though it is possible for a celebrity to be unpopular. She experiences “wild” applause, as opposed to tame applause. She had wanted to explore ideas “wherever she found them,” as opposed to them finding her, perhaps. The sentence that begins, “It is a place…” lacks parallel construction and is wordy. The writer also chose not to combine some sentences using commas, thus dragging the reader through additional words. Minutes taken to review, cull, and rewrite a passage generally produce a better piece of writing.
本文討論的主題很有趣，說明私人研究如何獲得公眾注目，並探討了一些名氣的作用。然而文中堆砌了太多詞句，例如「popular celebrity」（受歡迎的名人）這句基本上有點多餘，名人怎麼會不受歡迎呢？文中又說科學家獲得「wild」（狂野）的掌聲，掌聲應該沒有溫馴的吧？科學家又想探討「wherever she found them」的想法，難道想法會自己去找科學家？以「It is a place…」開頭的句子缺乏平行結構，顯得冗贅。另外有些句子未以逗號連接，也顯得冗長。花個幾分鐘檢查、刪減、修飾文章，往往能獲得更好的作品。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The biochemist felt like a celebrity. She was awkwardly asked for autographs by peers and assistants, greeted with applause whenever she entered a room, and granted the leeway she had been denied for years to explore new ideas. These were the perks of success in the volatile world of venture research, where science meets a market and application of a clinical procedure can produce a popular commercial product. She was not charmed by the sudden attention, but realized that she should use it to advance her undisclosed professional goals.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The biochemist felt like a popular celebrity. She was awkwardly asked for autographs by her peers and assistants, who should know better. She was greeted with wild applause whenever she entered any room. She was granted the authority that she had sought unsuccessfully for years to explore new ideas wherever she found them. These were the perquisites of her success in the volatile world of venture research with all its ups and downs. It is a place where science meets a commercial market and simply applying a clinical procedure can produce a wildly popular commercial product. But she was not charmed by the abrupt attention. She realized that she should use it to move ahead toward her secret professional goals.”
This writer addresses an interesting subject: how private research can culminate in public acclaim. It explores some of the dynamics of popularity. However, the writer clutters the writing with extra words and unneeded phrases. For example, a “popular celebrity” is mostly a redundant expression, though it is possible for a celebrity to be unpopular. She experiences “wild” applause, as opposed to tame applause. She had wanted to explore ideas “wherever she found them,” as opposed to them finding her, perhaps. The sentence that begins, “It is a place…” lacks parallel construction and is wordy. The writer also chose not to combine some sentences using commas, thus dragging the reader through additional words. Minutes taken to review, cull, and rewrite a passage generally produce a better piece of writing.
本文討論的主題很有趣，說明私人研究如何獲得公眾注目，並探討了一些名氣的作用。然而文中堆砌了太多詞句，例如「popular celebrity」（受歡迎的名人）這句基本上有點多餘，名人怎麼會不受歡迎呢？文中又說科學家獲得「wild」（狂野）的掌聲，掌聲應該沒有溫馴的吧？科學家又想探討「wherever she found them」的想法，難道想法會自己去找科學家？以「It is a place…」開頭的句子缺乏平行結構，顯得冗贅。另外有些句子未以逗號連接，也顯得冗長。花個幾分鐘檢查、刪減、修飾文章，往往能獲得更好的作品。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The biochemist felt like a celebrity. She was awkwardly asked for autographs by peers and assistants, greeted with applause whenever she entered a room, and granted the leeway she had been denied for years to explore new ideas. These were the perks of success in the volatile world of venture research, where science meets a market and application of a clinical procedure can produce a popular commercial product. She was not charmed by the sudden attention, but realized that she should use it to advance her undisclosed professional goals.”
Posted at 2012-11-09 12:48:26
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