This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“When the ordinary fruit fly twists its body and changes its flight pattern in a virtual instant, the insect demonstrates the maneuverability that flight scientists are trying to duplicate in robot models. The design of the bug is being copied in very small radio-controlled machines whose overall dimensions are measured in bytes and centimeters. The miniaturized little machines will be employed to zip into emergency or combat situations way too dangerous for human personnel or way too difficult for larger machinery to enter.”
This passage on efforts to create tiny robots that perform like nature’s flies is interesting, but not exemplary in its word choices. Some of the weakness is in wordiness—“ordinary” in describing fruit flies is superfluous, unless mutant flies are the norm—and in clichés, such as “overall dimensions;” dimensions always are assumed to be the entirety of an object unless a particular segment is the focus. Some errors are more egregious, such as the use of “duplicate” instead of “replicate.” Were the engineers duplicating the fly, they would be trying to make it look, as well as perform, like the insect. What other poor word choices do you see?
這段文章討論科學家努力模仿自然界的果蠅，創造微型機器，內容很有意思，但選詞卻是不良示範。一項缺點是用字冗贅，例如用 “ordinary”（普通）形容果蠅純屬多餘，除非突變果蠅比較常見。另外還有陳腔濫調，例如 “overall dimensions”（整體尺寸），尺寸一般都是形容整個物體，除非特別強調某個部分。有些錯誤比較誇張，例如沒有用 “replicate” 而誤用 “duplicate”。“Duplicate” 一隻果蠅，表示科學家要創造外型與運作方式都像果蠅的機器。還有哪些詞彙選用不當呢？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“When the fruit fly torques its body and radically changes its flight pattern in an instant, the insect demonstrates the maneuverability that flight scientists are trying to replicate in robotic models. The architecture and performance of the fly is being mimicked in supra-compact radio-controlled machines whose dimensions are measured in bytes and centimeters. The miniaturized machinery will be employed to zip in and out of emergency or combat situations too dangerous for human personnel or too inaccessible for larger machinery.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“When the ordinary fruit fly twists its body and changes its flight pattern in a virtual instant, the insect demonstrates the maneuverability that flight scientists are trying to duplicate in robot models. The design of the bug is being copied in very small radio-controlled machines whose overall dimensions are measured in bytes and centimeters. The miniaturized little machines will be employed to zip into emergency or combat situations way too dangerous for human personnel or way too difficult for larger machinery to enter.”
This passage on efforts to create tiny robots that perform like nature’s flies is interesting, but not exemplary in its word choices. Some of the weakness is in wordiness—“ordinary” in describing fruit flies is superfluous, unless mutant flies are the norm—and in clichés, such as “overall dimensions;” dimensions always are assumed to be the entirety of an object unless a particular segment is the focus. Some errors are more egregious, such as the use of “duplicate” instead of “replicate.” Were the engineers duplicating the fly, they would be trying to make it look, as well as perform, like the insect. What other poor word choices do you see?
這段文章討論科學家努力模仿自然界的果蠅，創造微型機器，內容很有意思，但選詞卻是不良示範。一項缺點是用字冗贅，例如用 “ordinary”（普通）形容果蠅純屬多餘，除非突變果蠅比較常見。另外還有陳腔濫調，例如 “overall dimensions”（整體尺寸），尺寸一般都是形容整個物體，除非特別強調某個部分。有些錯誤比較誇張，例如沒有用 “replicate” 而誤用 “duplicate”。“Duplicate” 一隻果蠅，表示科學家要創造外型與運作方式都像果蠅的機器。還有哪些詞彙選用不當呢？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“When the fruit fly torques its body and radically changes its flight pattern in an instant, the insect demonstrates the maneuverability that flight scientists are trying to replicate in robotic models. The architecture and performance of the fly is being mimicked in supra-compact radio-controlled machines whose dimensions are measured in bytes and centimeters. The miniaturized machinery will be employed to zip in and out of emergency or combat situations too dangerous for human personnel or too inaccessible for larger machinery.”
Posted at 2012-06-22 11:45:12
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