This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Steven Chen represents today’s technology experts, who took their expertise into the brave new realm of the Internet and literally took it over. The Taiwan native was born a little more than a decade before the Worldwide Web was invented and grew up with the big, new medium. Unlike in some earlier industrial times, the vast majority of today’s young entrepreneurs and technologists were attracted to the Internet, where imaginations were allowed to roam free across its vast landscape. For Chen, this meant starring at PayPal and Facebook before co-founding an Internet dynasty, YouTube.”
This excerpt of a piece on technology deals with a successful Internet innovator and businessman. The piece is overwrought. The excess is in the writing, not the subject. It infers that Steven Chen is the representative of modern tech leadership, rather than just one of many, and was a star, rather than mere employee, at some leading Internet companies. Chen’s company does not just succeed, it is a “dynasty.” The writer also lapses into clichés, such as “brave new (world) realm,” and “vast majority.” The imprecision continues with the phrase, “a little more than a decade.” It is OK to give an exact number of years. What other weaknesses do you see?
本段文章摘要與科技有關，討論網路新創事業家，文章寫作（而非主題）過分雕琢。文中提到，陳士駿不僅是當代科技領袖的一位代表，而且是獨一無二的代表 (the representative)；他不只是幾家網路龍頭公司的員工，更是公司的巨星。陳士駿的公司不僅事業成功，更是營造了一個 “dynasty”（王朝）。作者甚至用了許多套語，像是 “brave new (world) realm”（美麗新境界，來自小說名《美麗新世界》）、“vast majority”（絕大多數）；另一個片語繼續這種印象：“a little more than a decade”（略多於十年）。寫出確切的時間沒有這麼困難吧。你還發現其他的問題嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Steven Chen is a representative of the modern era’s technology experts, who took their expertise into the emerging realm of the Internet and took it over. The Taiwan native was born 11 years before the birth of the Worldwide Web and grew up with the towering medium. Unlike in earlier manufacturing eras, many present-day entrepreneurs and technologists were attracted to the Internet, where their imaginations roamed free across its electronic landscape. For Chen, this meant apprenticing at PayPal and Facebook before co-founding the Internet staple, YouTube.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Steven Chen represents today’s technology experts, who took their expertise into the brave new realm of the Internet and literally took it over. The Taiwan native was born a little more than a decade before the Worldwide Web was invented and grew up with the big, new medium. Unlike in some earlier industrial times, the vast majority of today’s young entrepreneurs and technologists were attracted to the Internet, where imaginations were allowed to roam free across its vast landscape. For Chen, this meant starring at PayPal and Facebook before co-founding an Internet dynasty, YouTube.”
This excerpt of a piece on technology deals with a successful Internet innovator and businessman. The piece is overwrought. The excess is in the writing, not the subject. It infers that Steven Chen is the representative of modern tech leadership, rather than just one of many, and was a star, rather than mere employee, at some leading Internet companies. Chen’s company does not just succeed, it is a “dynasty.” The writer also lapses into clichés, such as “brave new (world) realm,” and “vast majority.” The imprecision continues with the phrase, “a little more than a decade.” It is OK to give an exact number of years. What other weaknesses do you see?
本段文章摘要與科技有關，討論網路新創事業家，文章寫作（而非主題）過分雕琢。文中提到，陳士駿不僅是當代科技領袖的一位代表，而且是獨一無二的代表 (the representative)；他不只是幾家網路龍頭公司的員工，更是公司的巨星。陳士駿的公司不僅事業成功，更是營造了一個 “dynasty”（王朝）。作者甚至用了許多套語，像是 “brave new (world) realm”（美麗新境界，來自小說名《美麗新世界》）、“vast majority”（絕大多數）；另一個片語繼續這種印象：“a little more than a decade”（略多於十年）。寫出確切的時間沒有這麼困難吧。你還發現其他的問題嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Steven Chen is a representative of the modern era’s technology experts, who took their expertise into the emerging realm of the Internet and took it over. The Taiwan native was born 11 years before the birth of the Worldwide Web and grew up with the towering medium. Unlike in earlier manufacturing eras, many present-day entrepreneurs and technologists were attracted to the Internet, where their imaginations roamed free across its electronic landscape. For Chen, this meant apprenticing at PayPal and Facebook before co-founding the Internet staple, YouTube.”
Posted at 2012-05-25 15:17:28
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