This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“K’ung-fu-tzu, or Confucius, emphasized in his noble teachings the importance of individual study and individual learning. He encouraged his disciples to think for themselves and to harmoniously link society’s past, its present, and its future. Though he taught the virtue of societal order, Confucius didn’t like order being imposed by coercion and favored leaders leading by example. His ideal of human character was inner confidence and gentleness combined with outer benevolence and compassion. Confucius’s model for such ordering of humanity was the family.”
An ancient teacher still is teaching via this paragraph, which contains some questionable word selections. In the first sentence, the writer describes the teachings of Confucius as “noble.” While that might be true, it is a problematic description. Some observers might believe Confucius was daft. Freestanding opinion is not suitable in academic writing. The writer asserts Confucius “didn’t like” coerced order. Actually the likes and dislikes of ancient teachers are not as relevant as what they taught; the sentence should be rephrased. In the last sentence, the reader stumbles over “Confucius’s model…” A good rule to follow is that possessives ending in “s” should be written so that readers don’t have to slop around in “susses.” How else might the paragraph be improved?
經由這個段落，我們又從古代的至聖先師學到不少。此段落有些詞彙的選擇有待商榷，第一個句子形容孔子的學說很「高尚」(noble)，無論孔子的學說是否高尚，這樣形容都有問題，畢竟有些人可能認為孔子很愚昧，學術文章不適合使用沒有根據的意見。作者又宣稱孔子「不喜歡」強加命令於人民，其實先賢的教誨比他們的喜歡與否來得重要，此句應修改措辭。最後一句 “Confucius’s model…” 讀來相當拗口，所有格若以 “s” 結尾，寫作時應特別注意，以免讀者在 “susses” 之類的字尾打轉。本段落還可以如何進一步修改呢？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“K’ung-fu-tzu, or Confucius, emphasized in his teachings the importance of individual study and learning. He encouraged his disciples to think for themselves and to harmoniously link society’s past, present, and future. Though he taught the virtue of societal order, Confucius eschewed order being imposed by coercion and favored leaders leading by example. His ideal of human character was inner confidence and gentleness wedded to outer benevolence and compassion. The Confucius model for such ordering of humanity was the family.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“K’ung-fu-tzu, or Confucius, emphasized in his noble teachings the importance of individual study and individual learning. He encouraged his disciples to think for themselves and to harmoniously link society’s past, its present, and its future. Though he taught the virtue of societal order, Confucius didn’t like order being imposed by coercion and favored leaders leading by example. His ideal of human character was inner confidence and gentleness combined with outer benevolence and compassion. Confucius’s model for such ordering of humanity was the family.”
An ancient teacher still is teaching via this paragraph, which contains some questionable word selections. In the first sentence, the writer describes the teachings of Confucius as “noble.” While that might be true, it is a problematic description. Some observers might believe Confucius was daft. Freestanding opinion is not suitable in academic writing. The writer asserts Confucius “didn’t like” coerced order. Actually the likes and dislikes of ancient teachers are not as relevant as what they taught; the sentence should be rephrased. In the last sentence, the reader stumbles over “Confucius’s model…” A good rule to follow is that possessives ending in “s” should be written so that readers don’t have to slop around in “susses.” How else might the paragraph be improved?
經由這個段落，我們又從古代的至聖先師學到不少。此段落有些詞彙的選擇有待商榷，第一個句子形容孔子的學說很「高尚」(noble)，無論孔子的學說是否高尚，這樣形容都有問題，畢竟有些人可能認為孔子很愚昧，學術文章不適合使用沒有根據的意見。作者又宣稱孔子「不喜歡」強加命令於人民，其實先賢的教誨比他們的喜歡與否來得重要，此句應修改措辭。最後一句 “Confucius’s model…” 讀來相當拗口，所有格若以 “s” 結尾，寫作時應特別注意，以免讀者在 “susses” 之類的字尾打轉。本段落還可以如何進一步修改呢？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“K’ung-fu-tzu, or Confucius, emphasized in his teachings the importance of individual study and learning. He encouraged his disciples to think for themselves and to harmoniously link society’s past, present, and future. Though he taught the virtue of societal order, Confucius eschewed order being imposed by coercion and favored leaders leading by example. His ideal of human character was inner confidence and gentleness wedded to outer benevolence and compassion. The Confucius model for such ordering of humanity was the family.”
Posted at 2011-08-04 10:10:14
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