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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章,就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容,分析常見的寫作錯誤,並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“Political science studies government, and thoroughly examines nations and the institutions that guide and direct them. As a society grows older and incorporates more of its citizens in political decisions, the science also expands. New attention is paid to cultural and social blocs that come into being and begin to influence how government operates and how a general public relates to their government. A primary concern of political science is power and how one organized center of public influence develops and imposes its will upon another organized center of public influence.”

This paragraph about the social science dealing with politics contains near-misses in word choices. For example, it is not accurate to say political science “studies government.” The study also explores political parties, interest groups, and the mechanisms of public authority. It also is wrong to say political science studies “nations,” because political science also focuses on jurisdictions within a nation. The phrase “guide and direct” is mostly redundant and trite. After the word “expands,” a semi-colon is better used than a period because the following sentence actually expands on the previous one; the sentences are closely related. Can you spot the errant pronoun in one sentence? How else might the paragraph be improved?
這段文章與社會科學有關,討論的是政治,用字遣詞上有許多「擦邊球」。例如,說政治學「研究政府」並不正確,因為政治學也研究政黨、利益團體,以及政府的機制。說政治學研究國家 (nations) 也有問題,因為政治學也關注一國內部的司法。片語 “guide and direct” 基本上是多餘的陳腔濫調。“expands” 一字後最好不要接逗號,改接分號,因為其後的句子其實進一步詳述了前一個句子;兩個句子關係密切。此外,你看得出有個句子的代名詞有問題嗎?本段還可以如何修改呢?

Acceptable 認可的文章

“Political science studies public governance, and empirically and analytically examines states and their institutions. As a society matures and incorporates more of its citizenry in political decisions, the science also expands; new attention is paid to cultural and social blocs that arise to influence how government operates and a general public relates to its government. A primary concern of political science is power and how one political unit imposes its will upon another political unit.”


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