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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The morning walk was brightly lit, with sunlight shining through limbs stripped of leaves by the previous week’s wind and freezing temperatures. Shifting his bag higher on his shoulder, the naturalist shuffled through a veritable ocean of leaves and dried grasses. His eyes constantly peered around as he walked, looking for all the signs of biological life that a field biologist can identify and appreciate. Occasionally he looked up in a tree in the direction of a chirp or trill that sparked a bird’s image in his mind, causing him to want to identify the singing feathered friend.”
This paragraph contains some bad examples of writing: Wordiness…”brightly lit” instead of “bright.” Imprecision… A bag probably wasn’t shifted higher on a shoulder; the straps of the bag were. Over-the-top description…”veritable ocean of leaves” instead of, for example, a “thick mat of leaves.” Redundancy… “biological life” instead of just “life.” Cliché… “singing feathered friend” instead of “singing fowl.” Other sentences are weakened by unimaginative word choices. Good writers are separated from less-good writers by careful avoidance of some of these errors. A reader always can tell the difference.
本段出現一些寫作上的錯誤：像是贅詞，作者寫了「 brightly lit」（明亮地點亮），而不是「 bright」（明快）。還有不精確，被移到肩膀上方的不應該是包包，而是肩帶才對。過度描述，像是「 veritable ocean of leaves」（名副其實的葉子海洋）應該以「 thick mat of leaves」（葉子鋪成的厚墊）取代。作者也犯了冗長的毛病，寫了「 biological life」（生物的生命），而非「 life」（生命）。最後是陳詞濫調，應該以「 singing fowl」（在歌唱的禽鳥）代替「 singing feathered friend」（在歌唱的有羽類朋友）。至於其他句子，則是被毫無想像力的用詞給削弱力度了。好的寫作和不好的寫作，差別在作者能否細心避開上述錯誤。對讀者來說，這些錯誤是顯而易見的。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The morning walk was bright, with sunlight shining through limbs denuded of leaves by the previous week’s wind and cold. Shifting the straps of his bag higher on his shoulder, the naturalist shuffled through the thick mat of leaves and dried grasses. His eyes constantly scanned the ground as he walked, looking for all the signs of life that a field biologist can identify and appreciate. Occasionally he looked up in a tree in response to a chirp or trill that sparked an image in his mind along with the impulsive need to spot and confirm the species of the singing fowl.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The morning walk was brightly lit, with sunlight shining through limbs stripped of leaves by the previous week’s wind and freezing temperatures. Shifting his bag higher on his shoulder, the naturalist shuffled through a veritable ocean of leaves and dried grasses. His eyes constantly peered around as he walked, looking for all the signs of biological life that a field biologist can identify and appreciate. Occasionally he looked up in a tree in the direction of a chirp or trill that sparked a bird’s image in his mind, causing him to want to identify the singing feathered friend.”
This paragraph contains some bad examples of writing: Wordiness…”brightly lit” instead of “bright.” Imprecision… A bag probably wasn’t shifted higher on a shoulder; the straps of the bag were. Over-the-top description…”veritable ocean of leaves” instead of, for example, a “thick mat of leaves.” Redundancy… “biological life” instead of just “life.” Cliché… “singing feathered friend” instead of “singing fowl.” Other sentences are weakened by unimaginative word choices. Good writers are separated from less-good writers by careful avoidance of some of these errors. A reader always can tell the difference.
本段出現一些寫作上的錯誤：像是贅詞，作者寫了「 brightly lit」（明亮地點亮），而不是「 bright」（明快）。還有不精確，被移到肩膀上方的不應該是包包，而是肩帶才對。過度描述，像是「 veritable ocean of leaves」（名副其實的葉子海洋）應該以「 thick mat of leaves」（葉子鋪成的厚墊）取代。作者也犯了冗長的毛病，寫了「 biological life」（生物的生命），而非「 life」（生命）。最後是陳詞濫調，應該以「 singing fowl」（在歌唱的禽鳥）代替「 singing feathered friend」（在歌唱的有羽類朋友）。至於其他句子，則是被毫無想像力的用詞給削弱力度了。好的寫作和不好的寫作，差別在作者能否細心避開上述錯誤。對讀者來說，這些錯誤是顯而易見的。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The morning walk was bright, with sunlight shining through limbs denuded of leaves by the previous week’s wind and cold. Shifting the straps of his bag higher on his shoulder, the naturalist shuffled through the thick mat of leaves and dried grasses. His eyes constantly scanned the ground as he walked, looking for all the signs of life that a field biologist can identify and appreciate. Occasionally he looked up in a tree in response to a chirp or trill that sparked an image in his mind along with the impulsive need to spot and confirm the species of the singing fowl.”
