:::
This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The old hound dog exhibited all the signs of old age, as any aging human watching him would agree. He sighed mightily after straggling to his feet from the sleeping pad on the floor, leaning forward and then backward to see if his backbone would support his old frame. An arthritic hip caused the old dog to wag his rear end as he moved shakily from his bed to his food dish. There the animal paused a moment to gently shake his head sideways as if he were saying, “OK, the neck works; now see if your jowls still work.” Lowering his old head to the hard food, the dog began to crunch his way through another day.”
Man’s best friend, as a dog often is called, is companionable and often nearly becomes part of a human family. Yet this does not excuse formally referring to an animal as “he” or “she” or some variation of the pronouns, as the writer does here. A dog is a non-human, animate object. Giving animals human pronouns is too chummy a reference in this genre of writing. Other than that, the writer made such common errors as choosing a nearly correct word instead of the correct word (“straggling” for “struggling”), overused the adjective “old,” and employed an appealing phrase (“wag his rear end”) that unfortunately in this context suggests happiness instead of physical disability. The writing would receive a “C” in the academic realm.
我們常說狗是人類最好的朋友，能與人為伴，常成為人類家庭的一份子。但狗畢竟不是人，而是有生命的物體，在學術寫作時不能像這段文章一樣，堂而皇之地用「he」、「she」一類的人稱代名詞來稱呼，否則口吻會顯得過度親暱。此外，這段文章還出現一些常見的錯誤，例如錯用相近的詞彙（「straggling」應改為「struggling」）、濫用形容詞「old」，而「wag his rear end」雖然很有感染力，可惜代表的意思是狗很高興，而不是不良於行。就學術寫作而言，這篇文章只能拿到「C」的分數。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The hound dog exhibited all the characteristics of old age, as any aging human would attest. It sighed after struggling to its feet from the pad on the floor, leaning forward and backward to reacquaint its backbone with the idea of supporting its walking frame. An arthritic hip caused the dog to stumble as it moved unstably from its bed to its dish, where it paused to shake its head from side to side gently as if to say, “OK, the neck works; now see if your jowls still work.” Lowering its head to the hard food, the dog began to crunch its way through another day.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. This column examines short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and to explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The old hound dog exhibited all the signs of old age, as any aging human watching him would agree. He sighed mightily after straggling to his feet from the sleeping pad on the floor, leaning forward and then backward to see if his backbone would support his old frame. An arthritic hip caused the old dog to wag his rear end as he moved shakily from his bed to his food dish. There the animal paused a moment to gently shake his head sideways as if he were saying, “OK, the neck works; now see if your jowls still work.” Lowering his old head to the hard food, the dog began to crunch his way through another day.”
Man’s best friend, as a dog often is called, is companionable and often nearly becomes part of a human family. Yet this does not excuse formally referring to an animal as “he” or “she” or some variation of the pronouns, as the writer does here. A dog is a non-human, animate object. Giving animals human pronouns is too chummy a reference in this genre of writing. Other than that, the writer made such common errors as choosing a nearly correct word instead of the correct word (“straggling” for “struggling”), overused the adjective “old,” and employed an appealing phrase (“wag his rear end”) that unfortunately in this context suggests happiness instead of physical disability. The writing would receive a “C” in the academic realm.
我們常說狗是人類最好的朋友，能與人為伴，常成為人類家庭的一份子。但狗畢竟不是人，而是有生命的物體，在學術寫作時不能像這段文章一樣，堂而皇之地用「he」、「she」一類的人稱代名詞來稱呼，否則口吻會顯得過度親暱。此外，這段文章還出現一些常見的錯誤，例如錯用相近的詞彙（「straggling」應改為「struggling」）、濫用形容詞「old」，而「wag his rear end」雖然很有感染力，可惜代表的意思是狗很高興，而不是不良於行。就學術寫作而言，這篇文章只能拿到「C」的分數。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The hound dog exhibited all the characteristics of old age, as any aging human would attest. It sighed after struggling to its feet from the pad on the floor, leaning forward and backward to reacquaint its backbone with the idea of supporting its walking frame. An arthritic hip caused the dog to stumble as it moved unstably from its bed to its dish, where it paused to shake its head from side to side gently as if to say, “OK, the neck works; now see if your jowls still work.” Lowering its head to the hard food, the dog began to crunch its way through another day.”