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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The community pottery place in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artistic pottery, with potters arriving shortly after sunup for mixing, spinning, and smoothing of their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining hours of the day were reserved for painting or etching their creations, with distracted conversations mixed in about the craft or their families or the marketplace. Firing was reserved for the evening so that the kilns’ heat could be endured and, in some seasons, enjoyed as a real comfort against the chill of the coming night.”
This passage on a center for the making of potteryware is interesting in its images, but suffers from inexactness in its wording. The writer refers to a “pottery place,” which is a redundancy. “Pottery” says it all, a place where potters craft potteryware. The pottery output is called “artistic,” when in fact much of it probably is purely functional in design but nonetheless is crafted by artisans. “Sunup” verges on being colloquial as opposed to sunrise or dawn. The writer also suggests “the remaining hours of the day” were spent painting and etching, when he meant the remaining daylight hours were thus spent. A day runs till midnight. Other weaknesses?
這篇陶器館的段落描述很有意思，但美中不足的是寫作不精。文中寫道「pottery place」，其實「pottery」一個字就是指陶匠製造陶器的地方。文中又用「artistic」（藝術性的） 形容陶器，不過許多陶器是做來使用的，只不過是由工匠 (artisan) 製作。「Sunup」一字比起 sunrise 或 dawn 顯得口語，另外文中提到「the remaining hours of the day」（一天中剩餘的時間），但其實指的是白天剩餘的時間，從白天到夜晚都可以算是一天。你還看到其他問題嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The communal pottery in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artisanal potteryware, with potters arriving shortly after dawn to mix, spin, and smooth their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining daylight hours were given over to painting or etching of creations, interspersed with distracted conversations about the craft, or their families, or the market. Firing was reserved for evening so that the heat of kilns was bearable and, in some seasons, could provide genuine comfort against the chill of approaching night.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The community pottery place in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artistic pottery, with potters arriving shortly after sunup for mixing, spinning, and smoothing of their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining hours of the day were reserved for painting or etching their creations, with distracted conversations mixed in about the craft or their families or the marketplace. Firing was reserved for the evening so that the kilns’ heat could be endured and, in some seasons, enjoyed as a real comfort against the chill of the coming night.”
This passage on a center for the making of potteryware is interesting in its images, but suffers from inexactness in its wording. The writer refers to a “pottery place,” which is a redundancy. “Pottery” says it all, a place where potters craft potteryware. The pottery output is called “artistic,” when in fact much of it probably is purely functional in design but nonetheless is crafted by artisans. “Sunup” verges on being colloquial as opposed to sunrise or dawn. The writer also suggests “the remaining hours of the day” were spent painting and etching, when he meant the remaining daylight hours were thus spent. A day runs till midnight. Other weaknesses?
這篇陶器館的段落描述很有意思，但美中不足的是寫作不精。文中寫道「pottery place」，其實「pottery」一個字就是指陶匠製造陶器的地方。文中又用「artistic」（藝術性的） 形容陶器，不過許多陶器是做來使用的，只不過是由工匠 (artisan) 製作。「Sunup」一字比起 sunrise 或 dawn 顯得口語，另外文中提到「the remaining hours of the day」（一天中剩餘的時間），但其實指的是白天剩餘的時間，從白天到夜晚都可以算是一天。你還看到其他問題嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The communal pottery in the country outside Wiggingham was a source of artisanal potteryware, with potters arriving shortly after dawn to mix, spin, and smooth their clay materials till midafternoon. The remaining daylight hours were given over to painting or etching of creations, interspersed with distracted conversations about the craft, or their families, or the market. Firing was reserved for evening so that the heat of kilns was bearable and, in some seasons, could provide genuine comfort against the chill of approaching night.”
