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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The painter’s stubbon pride, which had put him ahead of his peers, kept him from acknowledging a chronic condition that threatened to end his colorful career. His eyes were failing—“around the edges,” as he complained to an assistant. While submitting to a neurology doctor’s scrutiny seemed to him a big deal, to anyone with less ego, it was a ho-hum decision. Now his nervous system would be looked at as closely as the artist had scrutinized his own masterpieces. To the sick artist, the doctor’s opinion was the only one that mattered to him.”
The gist of this passage about an artist with a threatening physical condition is that he has been humbled by the condition. The passage is intrinsically interesting. But its appeal is lessened by deadening words. His pride is said to be “stubborn,” a tired phrase. The pride is said to “put” him ahead of fellow artists. “Put” is such a flat verb. A “chronic” condition threatens to “end” his career, but chronic by definition is unending. “Big deal?” Big cliché. “Ho-hum?” Conversational. “Looked at?” Grammatically awkward. This writer’s sin is dullness.
這段文章談論一位藝術家，因為身體狀況而受挫。文章內容本身很有趣，卻因用詞單調而失色不少。以 “stubborn”（頑強）形容畫家的自負太了無新意，說這股自負 “put”（造成）畫家領先其他畫家又太平淡。文章說一種 “chronic”（慢性）病症很可能 “end”（終結）畫家事業，但 “chronic” 本身有無止盡的意思。“Big deal” 太老套，“Ho-hum” 太口語，“Looked at” 文法有問題，整篇文章的毛病就是用詞沉悶。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The painter’s overweening pride, which had vaulted him ahead of his artistic peers, kept him from acknowledging a physical condition that threatened to end his career: His eyesight was failing—“around the edges,” as he complained to his studio assistant. While submitting to neurological scrutiny seemed to him a Herculean concession, to anyone of lesser ego, it was routine. His nervous system would be examined as closely as the artist had scrutinized his own brushwork. To the ailing artist, the doctor’s opinion now was the only one that mattered.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“The painter’s stubbon pride, which had put him ahead of his peers, kept him from acknowledging a chronic condition that threatened to end his colorful career. His eyes were failing—“around the edges,” as he complained to an assistant. While submitting to a neurology doctor’s scrutiny seemed to him a big deal, to anyone with less ego, it was a ho-hum decision. Now his nervous system would be looked at as closely as the artist had scrutinized his own masterpieces. To the sick artist, the doctor’s opinion was the only one that mattered to him.”
The gist of this passage about an artist with a threatening physical condition is that he has been humbled by the condition. The passage is intrinsically interesting. But its appeal is lessened by deadening words. His pride is said to be “stubborn,” a tired phrase. The pride is said to “put” him ahead of fellow artists. “Put” is such a flat verb. A “chronic” condition threatens to “end” his career, but chronic by definition is unending. “Big deal?” Big cliché. “Ho-hum?” Conversational. “Looked at?” Grammatically awkward. This writer’s sin is dullness.
這段文章談論一位藝術家，因為身體狀況而受挫。文章內容本身很有趣，卻因用詞單調而失色不少。以 “stubborn”（頑強）形容畫家的自負太了無新意，說這股自負 “put”（造成）畫家領先其他畫家又太平淡。文章說一種 “chronic”（慢性）病症很可能 “end”（終結）畫家事業，但 “chronic” 本身有無止盡的意思。“Big deal” 太老套，“Ho-hum” 太口語，“Looked at” 文法有問題，整篇文章的毛病就是用詞沉悶。
Acceptable 認可的文章
“The painter’s overweening pride, which had vaulted him ahead of his artistic peers, kept him from acknowledging a physical condition that threatened to end his career: His eyesight was failing—“around the edges,” as he complained to his studio assistant. While submitting to neurological scrutiny seemed to him a Herculean concession, to anyone of lesser ego, it was routine. His nervous system would be examined as closely as the artist had scrutinized his own brushwork. To the ailing artist, the doctor’s opinion now was the only one that mattered.”
