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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“A complete and total education includes physical education, sometimes called physical fitness. This part of a curriculum is put down sometimes because it departs from purely intellectual learning. The thinking is that lessons about exercise and healthy consumption of foods can come just as easily outside classrooms and gymnasiums as inside. However, this attitude doesn’t own up to the reality of modern civilizations, which in their rush-rush lifestyle leave little time for regular exercise. Furthermore, that the mind benefits from aerobic activity is indisputable.”
This excerpt from a paper on physical education fails mostly in vocabulary, but also in fuzzy thinking. The opening phrase, “a complete and total education,” not only contains a redundancy, it is wordy. The second sentence uses slang—“put down”—that doesn’t even have the virtue of being clear in its meaning. (Is the program anesthesized and killed?) The next sentence begins with “the thinking,” which is a colloquial version of “the belief” or “the argument.” And “rush-rush” is such a poor-poor excuse for an adjective. What else can you spot?
本段文章取自體育學論文，主要問題在選詞不當，此外思慮也不夠清晰。第一句 “a complete and total education”（完整而全面的教育）用詞多餘又冗長；第二句用了俚語 “put down”(放下；殺死)，不僅不夠正式，基本的語意也不清楚(課程難道被麻醉了、被殺了？) 下一句開頭 “the thinking”（這種想法）略嫌口語，應用 “the belief”（這種觀點）或 “the argument”（這種論調）。最後，“rush-rush”（匆匆忙忙）這個形容詞，未免過於馬馬虎虎。你是否還找到其他問題？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Holistic education includes physical education, or more specifically, physical fitness. This part of a curriculum is sometimes denigrated because it departs from the purely intellectual realm. The argument is that lessons about exercise and healthy consumption of foods can come as easily outside classrooms and gymnasiums as inside them. However, this attitude doesn’t acknowledge the reality of modern civilizations, which in their skeltering lifestyle leave scant time for systematic exercise. Furthermore, the intellectual benefit of aerobic activity is indisputable.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“A complete and total education includes physical education, sometimes called physical fitness. This part of a curriculum is put down sometimes because it departs from purely intellectual learning. The thinking is that lessons about exercise and healthy consumption of foods can come just as easily outside classrooms and gymnasiums as inside. However, this attitude doesn’t own up to the reality of modern civilizations, which in their rush-rush lifestyle leave little time for regular exercise. Furthermore, that the mind benefits from aerobic activity is indisputable.”
This excerpt from a paper on physical education fails mostly in vocabulary, but also in fuzzy thinking. The opening phrase, “a complete and total education,” not only contains a redundancy, it is wordy. The second sentence uses slang—“put down”—that doesn’t even have the virtue of being clear in its meaning. (Is the program anesthesized and killed?) The next sentence begins with “the thinking,” which is a colloquial version of “the belief” or “the argument.” And “rush-rush” is such a poor-poor excuse for an adjective. What else can you spot?
本段文章取自體育學論文，主要問題在選詞不當，此外思慮也不夠清晰。第一句 “a complete and total education”（完整而全面的教育）用詞多餘又冗長；第二句用了俚語 “put down”(放下；殺死)，不僅不夠正式，基本的語意也不清楚(課程難道被麻醉了、被殺了？) 下一句開頭 “the thinking”（這種想法）略嫌口語，應用 “the belief”（這種觀點）或 “the argument”（這種論調）。最後，“rush-rush”（匆匆忙忙）這個形容詞，未免過於馬馬虎虎。你是否還找到其他問題？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Holistic education includes physical education, or more specifically, physical fitness. This part of a curriculum is sometimes denigrated because it departs from the purely intellectual realm. The argument is that lessons about exercise and healthy consumption of foods can come as easily outside classrooms and gymnasiums as inside them. However, this attitude doesn’t acknowledge the reality of modern civilizations, which in their skeltering lifestyle leave scant time for systematic exercise. Furthermore, the intellectual benefit of aerobic activity is indisputable.”