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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“In driving around the outback, the geological expedition skirted past vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining companies and opal mines. No petroleum oil-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys. Occasionally they pulled out their technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic single moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, caused by a dingo attack on the other side of a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”
This piece on a geological foray into the challenging center of Australia suffers from redundancies, wordiness, and a grammatical error. It opens with a colloquial statement—“In driving around the outback…” which suggests the region was passed by, rather than entered. Similar fumbling about place occurs later in the sentence in use of the redundant “skirted past.” Skirting, after all, implies avoidance. Also redundant is “petroleum oil…” The “pulled out” terminology a little further along is a too-casual description. And in the next to last sentence, the phrase beginning “caused by a dingo attack…” seems to refer to encampment, when it actually alludes to the galloping horses. What other awkward or wordy writing do you see?
本段文章描述在澳洲險惡的內陸作地質探訪，文字多餘、冗贅，還有文法錯誤。開頭第一句 “In driving around the outback…”（在內陸地區繞）表達偏口語，且暗指探險隊沒有深入該地，只是繞過而已。句子稍後的 “skirted past” 不僅冗贅也有類似的錯誤，追究起來，skirt（繞過）有「避開」的意思。另外 “petroleum oil…” 也是冗贅的說法，兩字擇一即可。“Pulled out” 一句敘述也不夠正式。從下一句到最後一句，“caused by a dingo attack…”（因野狗攻擊造成…）開頭的子句，看起來好像野狗攻擊的是營地，但實際上野狗攻擊的應該是野馬，而使野馬狂奔。你還發現了其他不理想或冗贅的用法嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“In traversing the outback, the geological expedition skirted vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining operations and opal mines. No petroleum-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys, with occasional resorts to technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, the animals apparently fleeing from a dingo attack beyond a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“In driving around the outback, the geological expedition skirted past vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining companies and opal mines. No petroleum oil-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys. Occasionally they pulled out their technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic single moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, caused by a dingo attack on the other side of a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”
This piece on a geological foray into the challenging center of Australia suffers from redundancies, wordiness, and a grammatical error. It opens with a colloquial statement—“In driving around the outback…” which suggests the region was passed by, rather than entered. Similar fumbling about place occurs later in the sentence in use of the redundant “skirted past.” Skirting, after all, implies avoidance. Also redundant is “petroleum oil…” The “pulled out” terminology a little further along is a too-casual description. And in the next to last sentence, the phrase beginning “caused by a dingo attack…” seems to refer to encampment, when it actually alludes to the galloping horses. What other awkward or wordy writing do you see?
本段文章描述在澳洲險惡的內陸作地質探訪，文字多餘、冗贅，還有文法錯誤。開頭第一句 “In driving around the outback…”（在內陸地區繞）表達偏口語，且暗指探險隊沒有深入該地，只是繞過而已。句子稍後的 “skirted past” 不僅冗贅也有類似的錯誤，追究起來，skirt（繞過）有「避開」的意思。另外 “petroleum oil…” 也是冗贅的說法，兩字擇一即可。“Pulled out” 一句敘述也不夠正式。從下一句到最後一句，“caused by a dingo attack…”（因野狗攻擊造成…）開頭的子句，看起來好像野狗攻擊的是營地，但實際上野狗攻擊的應該是野馬，而使野馬狂奔。你還發現了其他不理想或冗贅的用法嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“In traversing the outback, the geological expedition skirted vast sheep and cattle grazing regions and concentrated instead on major iron and manganese mining operations and opal mines. No petroleum-producing areas were encountered in their travel. The group’s mineral exploration was confined to visual surveys, with occasional resorts to technical gear to confirm the identity of a rock or soil. Perhaps the expedition’s most dramatic moment occurred when a band of brumbies, or wild horses, galloped at night through the group’s encampment, the animals apparently fleeing from a dingo attack beyond a nearby hill. The group was nonplussed but unhurt.”
