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This is not academic writing 學術文章不是這麼寫的
【寫作技巧】
並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Siddhartha Gautama’s influence grew for 2,500 years until today it claims millions and millions of adherents, mostly but not exclusively in Asia. According to tradition, what began as a personal religious quest became an obsessive search to discover true enlightenment and then to teach it to mankind. The meditations of Guatama govern modern Buddhism’s approach to understanding life. The monastic existence of many followers of Buddha epitomizes the yearning of Buddhists: to rid themselves of the earthly desires dwelling in their hearts and minds and to liberate themselves from suffering and the pressures of ordinary life. Consequently, many Buddhist practitioners inside and outside of monasteries are marked by ethical character and moderate behavior.”
This passage from a paper on Buddha’s founding teacher is unrefined. That is, while it is an acceptable second draft, the paper would have benefited from another round of polishing. Writing that the founder’s “influence grew for 2,500 years until today” implies a steady progression that may or may not be true, whereas it is safe to write that it “has grown across 25 centuries.” In the same sentence, the writer uses the phrase “mostly but not exclusively,” which is a redundancy. Terming the search “obsessive” suggests connotations that “determined” does not. Farther on, a colon in a sentence is punctuation, and “life” is subjectively modified as “ordinary life.” What other unpolished examples do you see?
這段文章討論佛教始祖，但文字有點粗糙，品質接近第二版草稿，如果能再加潤飾會更好。文章說佛祖 “influence grew for 2,500 years until today”（持續影響了兩千五百年，直到如今），暗示佛祖的影響力與日俱增。由於此點無法確定，寫成 “has grown across 25 centuries”（影響力橫跨二十五個世紀）會比較保險。同一句中，“mostly but not exclusively”（多數，但不完全是）顯得多餘。以 “obsessive”（執著）形容佛祖尋求開悟一事似乎別有暗示，改用 “determined” 就沒有這種問題。下一句有個不必要的冒號，另外以 “ordinary” 形容生命則帶有主觀判斷。你還找得到其他未經修飾的句子嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Siddhartha Gautama’s influence has grown across 25 centuries and claims hundreds of millions of adherents, mostly in Asia. According to tradition, what began as a personal religious quest became a determined search to discover true enlightenment and then to teach it. The meditations of Guatama govern modern Buddhism’s approach to understanding life and rebirth. The monastic existence of many followers of Buddha exemplifies the yearning of Buddhists to expunge earthly desires from their natures, thereby liberating themselves from suffering and the pressures of life. Consequently, many Buddhist practitioners in and out of monasteries are characterized by ethical character and moderation.”
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.
Unacceptable 不被認可的文章
“Siddhartha Gautama’s influence grew for 2,500 years until today it claims millions and millions of adherents, mostly but not exclusively in Asia. According to tradition, what began as a personal religious quest became an obsessive search to discover true enlightenment and then to teach it to mankind. The meditations of Guatama govern modern Buddhism’s approach to understanding life. The monastic existence of many followers of Buddha epitomizes the yearning of Buddhists: to rid themselves of the earthly desires dwelling in their hearts and minds and to liberate themselves from suffering and the pressures of ordinary life. Consequently, many Buddhist practitioners inside and outside of monasteries are marked by ethical character and moderate behavior.”
This passage from a paper on Buddha’s founding teacher is unrefined. That is, while it is an acceptable second draft, the paper would have benefited from another round of polishing. Writing that the founder’s “influence grew for 2,500 years until today” implies a steady progression that may or may not be true, whereas it is safe to write that it “has grown across 25 centuries.” In the same sentence, the writer uses the phrase “mostly but not exclusively,” which is a redundancy. Terming the search “obsessive” suggests connotations that “determined” does not. Farther on, a colon in a sentence is punctuation, and “life” is subjectively modified as “ordinary life.” What other unpolished examples do you see?
這段文章討論佛教始祖，但文字有點粗糙，品質接近第二版草稿，如果能再加潤飾會更好。文章說佛祖 “influence grew for 2,500 years until today”（持續影響了兩千五百年，直到如今），暗示佛祖的影響力與日俱增。由於此點無法確定，寫成 “has grown across 25 centuries”（影響力橫跨二十五個世紀）會比較保險。同一句中，“mostly but not exclusively”（多數，但不完全是）顯得多餘。以 “obsessive”（執著）形容佛祖尋求開悟一事似乎別有暗示，改用 “determined” 就沒有這種問題。下一句有個不必要的冒號，另外以 “ordinary” 形容生命則帶有主觀判斷。你還找得到其他未經修飾的句子嗎？
Acceptable 認可的文章
“Siddhartha Gautama’s influence has grown across 25 centuries and claims hundreds of millions of adherents, mostly in Asia. According to tradition, what began as a personal religious quest became a determined search to discover true enlightenment and then to teach it. The meditations of Guatama govern modern Buddhism’s approach to understanding life and rebirth. The monastic existence of many followers of Buddha exemplifies the yearning of Buddhists to expunge earthly desires from their natures, thereby liberating themselves from suffering and the pressures of life. Consequently, many Buddhist practitioners in and out of monasteries are characterized by ethical character and moderation.”
