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十大簡潔英文準則十：刪除多餘的引介片語
【學術專欄】
The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. Recently our Facebook fans at TPS have been enjoying our new column Brevity: Valuing Each Word. For the past 4 months, we have asked fans to provide examples of brevity relevant to the Rule we were discussing for the week. Now that the 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper have been outlined, below we give you a recap of each Rule, as well as the correct answer and explanation to accompanying quiz question.
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 10: Eliminate extraneous introductory phrases … An academic writer can tighten a paper and increase its readability by avoiding use of common phrases that add nothing essential to a thought or a sentence. In the sentence below, the writer employed such phrases. How can it best be written shorter and stronger?
十大簡潔英文準則十：刪除多餘的引介片語
有些常見的片語對概念或句子並沒有太大助益，學術寫作若能避免此類片語，可讓文章更加簡潔、容易閱讀。以下句子有多餘的片語，應該如何修改才能使句子更簡短有力？
題目 Contest Sentence:
“The facts of the matter are that the president is not particularly presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, who is his vice president for life.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The truth is, the president is not presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, his vice president for life.”
This suggested revision reduces the word count to 20 from 27. It does so by shortening one introductory phrase and eliminating a second. “The facts of the matter are…” is a clichéd phrase that nonetheless serves a purpose: It defines what follows. It usually is employed as a rhetorical device, declaring that the declaration to come is factual—at least in the mind of the person making the statement—as opposed to previously expressed opinion. “The truth is…” serves this same purpose, but more concisely. Not prefacing the assertion of “facts” weakens it.
句子照建議修改，縮短第一個片語、刪除第二個片語後，字數從 27 個字減少到 20 個字。“The facts of the matter are…” 是個陳舊的片語，目的只是解釋其後的句子，通常是種修辭手法，表明作者認為以下的敘述是事實，不像之前那樣是表達意見。“The truth is…” 這個片語也能達到同樣的效果，而且更簡潔，不加入 “facts” 一字並不會使原意不清楚。
The sentence contains a second introductory phrase—“who is”—that is unneeded and renders the sentence clunky when it is included. The subject of the dependent phrase following the name, Trevor Chan, clearly is the person named, Chan. Therefore, the “who is” serves no purpose other than to slow down the reader, and slowing reading is not something writers should try to do without good reason. In this academic paper, no reason exists to slow the rhythm and pace of the paper, which analyzes contemporary political figures in a quasi-democracy.
同樣的，句中另一個引介片語 “who is” 不僅沒有必要，還讓句子更冗贅。置於人名 Trevor Chan 後非獨立片語的主詞，很顯然就是指 Trevor Chan；所以 “who is” 沒有其他用處，只會拖慢讀者閱讀的速度而已。如果作者沒有正當理由，就不應該拖慢讀者的閱讀速度。本篇學術文章討論當代準民主體制中的政治人物，沒有理由在此放慢文章的節奏步調。
What probably happened is that the writer lapsed into colloquial language, writing in a conversational style. Most people habitually are more verbose in their speech than in their writing. In conversation, we tend to ramble while we sort through our thoughts. We use spoken words to fill silent conversational moments while we search for clear expression. Such wordiness in verbal dialogue can be appealing, but reading filler words is not. When introductory phrases are required to frame a written thought, doing so concisely always is the better choice.
作者可能一時不察，讓寫作風格受到口語對話的影響。多數人說話時通常比寫作時嘮叨，習慣在交談時一邊釐清思緒，一邊喃喃自語，在想出清楚的表達方式前，用口頭贅字填補對話中沉默的片刻。這種嘮叨在口頭交談時或許比較親切，但寫作時則不然。寫作時如果需要使用引介片語界定概念，應該簡明扼要。
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 10: Eliminate extraneous introductory phrases … An academic writer can tighten a paper and increase its readability by avoiding use of common phrases that add nothing essential to a thought or a sentence. In the sentence below, the writer employed such phrases. How can it best be written shorter and stronger?
十大簡潔英文準則十：刪除多餘的引介片語
有些常見的片語對概念或句子並沒有太大助益，學術寫作若能避免此類片語，可讓文章更加簡潔、容易閱讀。以下句子有多餘的片語，應該如何修改才能使句子更簡短有力？
題目 Contest Sentence:
“The facts of the matter are that the president is not particularly presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, who is his vice president for life.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The truth is, the president is not presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan, his vice president for life.”
This suggested revision reduces the word count to 20 from 27. It does so by shortening one introductory phrase and eliminating a second. “The facts of the matter are…” is a clichéd phrase that nonetheless serves a purpose: It defines what follows. It usually is employed as a rhetorical device, declaring that the declaration to come is factual—at least in the mind of the person making the statement—as opposed to previously expressed opinion. “The truth is…” serves this same purpose, but more concisely. Not prefacing the assertion of “facts” weakens it.
句子照建議修改，縮短第一個片語、刪除第二個片語後，字數從 27 個字減少到 20 個字。“The facts of the matter are…” 是個陳舊的片語，目的只是解釋其後的句子，通常是種修辭手法，表明作者認為以下的敘述是事實，不像之前那樣是表達意見。“The truth is…” 這個片語也能達到同樣的效果，而且更簡潔，不加入 “facts” 一字並不會使原意不清楚。
The sentence contains a second introductory phrase—“who is”—that is unneeded and renders the sentence clunky when it is included. The subject of the dependent phrase following the name, Trevor Chan, clearly is the person named, Chan. Therefore, the “who is” serves no purpose other than to slow down the reader, and slowing reading is not something writers should try to do without good reason. In this academic paper, no reason exists to slow the rhythm and pace of the paper, which analyzes contemporary political figures in a quasi-democracy.
同樣的，句中另一個引介片語 “who is” 不僅沒有必要，還讓句子更冗贅。置於人名 Trevor Chan 後非獨立片語的主詞，很顯然就是指 Trevor Chan；所以 “who is” 沒有其他用處，只會拖慢讀者閱讀的速度而已。如果作者沒有正當理由，就不應該拖慢讀者的閱讀速度。本篇學術文章討論當代準民主體制中的政治人物，沒有理由在此放慢文章的節奏步調。
What probably happened is that the writer lapsed into colloquial language, writing in a conversational style. Most people habitually are more verbose in their speech than in their writing. In conversation, we tend to ramble while we sort through our thoughts. We use spoken words to fill silent conversational moments while we search for clear expression. Such wordiness in verbal dialogue can be appealing, but reading filler words is not. When introductory phrases are required to frame a written thought, doing so concisely always is the better choice.
作者可能一時不察，讓寫作風格受到口語對話的影響。多數人說話時通常比寫作時嘮叨，習慣在交談時一邊釐清思緒，一邊喃喃自語，在想出清楚的表達方式前，用口頭贅字填補對話中沉默的片刻。這種嘮叨在口頭交談時或許比較親切，但寫作時則不然。寫作時如果需要使用引介片語界定概念，應該簡明扼要。