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十大簡潔英文準則六：善用暗喻
【學術專欄】
The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. Recently our Facebook fans at TPS have been enjoying our new column Brevity: Valuing Each Word. For the past 4 months, we have asked fans to provide examples of brevity relevant to the Rule we were discussing for the week. Now that the 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper have been outlined, below we give you a recap of each Rule, as well as the correct answer and explanation to accompanying quiz question.
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 6: Use allusions… An academic writer can tighten his paper, reduce word count, and connect more securely with a reader by alluding to familiar principles or objects that apply to the subject. In the sentence below, the writer did not employ allusion where it was possible to do so. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger by use of allusion?
十大簡潔英文準則六：善用暗喻
寫作學術文章若能間接引用與主題類似的觀念或事物，便可使文章更簡潔、減少字數，讓讀者更容易理解。下列句子並未在適當的地方善用暗喻，要如何使用暗喻，才能讓句子更精簡有力？
題目 Contest Sentence:
“The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of every non-violent protester who ever challenged authority.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of Mohandas Gandhi.”
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of Mohandas Gandhi.”
This sentence reduces the word count to 26 from 31 by letting one individual—Gandhi—personify a host of people. As a legendary champion of peaceful resistance and an advocate of human rights, Gandhi’s influence extended worldwide in the middle of the 20th century. The name of this citizen of India became a shorthand reference to global acts of protest that were characterized by non-violence, civil disobedience, and peaceful resistance.
將人群比擬成甘地，字數頓時從31字減少到26字。甘地是印度人，因提倡和平抵抗與提倡人權而聞名，影響力早在二十世紀中已遍及全球。甘地的名字帶給人們既定的印象，代表各種抗議活動如非暴力、不合作主義與和平抵抗等的象徵。
There is nothing especially wrong with the wording of the original sentence, which refers generically to the world’s history of non-violent resistance. It does so by invoking an image of peaceful demonstrators being civilly disobedient and submitting themselves to the reaction of authorities. This general allusion also enlarges the conversation by resorting to imagery. However, the image is not as sharp as a Gandhi reference, and sharpness and specificity nearly always spark understanding.
原句中提到非暴力抗爭的歷史陳述，提及和平示威者發起不合作運動、面對當局鎮壓等意象，措辭乍看之下並無不妥。這只是一般比喻，可將陳述轉化為意象，但該意象卻不如用甘地的比喻來的清晰，而清晰、明確有助於讀者理解句子。
The reference to Gandhi is an arbitrary choice. Non-violent protest is a universal principle that has been expressed in the writings of nearly all major religions and philosophies, including Buddhism, Christianity and Taoism. An allusion to any advocate would have accomplished the same so long as the name of the selected person was familiar to the reader. The consequence of such an allusive reference is a shortened sentence, a sharpened image, and quickened understanding.
當然並非一定要使用甘地的名字，在各宗教與哲學典籍中，如佛教、基督教與道教等，幾乎都看得到非暴力抵抗的宣言與堅持。只要所選的人名為讀者所熟悉，任何擁護非暴力抵抗的人名都可以達到同樣的效果。善用暗喻可以縮短句子，使意象清晰、促進理解。
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 6: Use allusions… An academic writer can tighten his paper, reduce word count, and connect more securely with a reader by alluding to familiar principles or objects that apply to the subject. In the sentence below, the writer did not employ allusion where it was possible to do so. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger by use of allusion?
十大簡潔英文準則六：善用暗喻
寫作學術文章若能間接引用與主題類似的觀念或事物，便可使文章更簡潔、減少字數，讓讀者更容易理解。下列句子並未在適當的地方善用暗喻，要如何使用暗喻，才能讓句子更精簡有力？
題目 Contest Sentence:
“The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of every non-violent protester who ever challenged authority.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of Mohandas Gandhi.”
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “The people filed peacefully into the room and, one by one, seated themselves on the floor, each person assuming the fatalistic posture reminiscent of Mohandas Gandhi.”
This sentence reduces the word count to 26 from 31 by letting one individual—Gandhi—personify a host of people. As a legendary champion of peaceful resistance and an advocate of human rights, Gandhi’s influence extended worldwide in the middle of the 20th century. The name of this citizen of India became a shorthand reference to global acts of protest that were characterized by non-violence, civil disobedience, and peaceful resistance.
將人群比擬成甘地，字數頓時從31字減少到26字。甘地是印度人，因提倡和平抵抗與提倡人權而聞名，影響力早在二十世紀中已遍及全球。甘地的名字帶給人們既定的印象，代表各種抗議活動如非暴力、不合作主義與和平抵抗等的象徵。
There is nothing especially wrong with the wording of the original sentence, which refers generically to the world’s history of non-violent resistance. It does so by invoking an image of peaceful demonstrators being civilly disobedient and submitting themselves to the reaction of authorities. This general allusion also enlarges the conversation by resorting to imagery. However, the image is not as sharp as a Gandhi reference, and sharpness and specificity nearly always spark understanding.
原句中提到非暴力抗爭的歷史陳述，提及和平示威者發起不合作運動、面對當局鎮壓等意象，措辭乍看之下並無不妥。這只是一般比喻，可將陳述轉化為意象，但該意象卻不如用甘地的比喻來的清晰，而清晰、明確有助於讀者理解句子。
The reference to Gandhi is an arbitrary choice. Non-violent protest is a universal principle that has been expressed in the writings of nearly all major religions and philosophies, including Buddhism, Christianity and Taoism. An allusion to any advocate would have accomplished the same so long as the name of the selected person was familiar to the reader. The consequence of such an allusive reference is a shortened sentence, a sharpened image, and quickened understanding.
當然並非一定要使用甘地的名字，在各宗教與哲學典籍中，如佛教、基督教與道教等，幾乎都看得到非暴力抵抗的宣言與堅持。只要所選的人名為讀者所熟悉，任何擁護非暴力抵抗的人名都可以達到同樣的效果。善用暗喻可以縮短句子，使意象清晰、促進理解。
