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十大簡潔英文準則五：善用意象
【學術專欄】
The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. Recently our Facebook fans at TPS have been enjoying our new column Brevity: Valuing Each Word. For the past 4 months, we have asked fans to provide examples of brevity relevant to the Rule we were discussing for the week. Now that the 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper have been outlined, below we give you a recap of each Rule, as well as the correct answer and explanation to accompanying quiz question.
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 5: Use imagery… An academic writer can tighten his paper, lower word count, and enable understanding by using universal images that communicate clearly and accurately. In the sentence below, the writer did not employ imagery where it was possible to do so. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger by use of imagery?
十大簡潔英文準則五：善用意象
學術文章引用眾所周知的意象能讓溝通更精確、文章更簡潔並減少字數，幫助讀者理解文章。下列句子並未在適當的地方善用意象，要如何使用意象，才能讓此句更精簡有力？
題目Contest Sentence:
“The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the unpowered flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It was only capable of maintaining altitude for a short distance.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It glided like an anvil.”
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It glided like an anvil.”
This sentence reduces the word count to 26 from 32 by comparing a jet aircraft to an anvil. An anvil is a steel or iron block that is used for shaping metal, usually by hammering on the metal as it rests on the anvil. The shop tool is forged of dense material and, therefore, is heavy, which helps it stay in place during hammering. An anvil does not, of course, have wings. Consequently, if it were flung outward by a person of normal strength, gravity would quickly pull it to the earth. Such is the image.
若將噴射機比擬成鐵砧，可讓句子從 32 個字減少到 26 個字。鐵砧由鋼或鐵製成，鍛捶金屬時，通常將金屬放在鐵砧上捶打。鐵砧由緻密的金屬鍛造而成，因此非常沉重，如此捶打時才不會移動。鐵砧沒有翅膀，如果以人手擲出，很快會因重力墜地；鐵砧的意象就是如此。
To write that a fighter jet glides like an anvil imaginatively expresses the fact that the plane’s ability to stay in the air is largely dependent upon the thrust of the plane’s jet engine. The thrust propels the aircraft forward with the wings mostly helping to control the path of its flight. Unlike planes with larger wings and smaller mass, the F-100 did not derive much lift from its wings. Therefore, if the engine quit operating and thrusting ended, the plane would not glide any great distance.
形容戰鬥噴射機如鐵砧般滑翔，讓讀者明白飛機能停留在空中，主要是藉由噴射引擎的推動力，推動飛機向前，機翼主要控制飛行路徑。F-100戰鬥噴射機與其他機翼較大、質量較輕的飛機不同，機翼提供的飛行提升力不多。因此，若引擎熄止，不再推動飛機，機身便滑不了多遠。
It could have been written the plane glided “like a rock” or something similar. The point is, the image of an anvil quickly dropping to the ground clearly expresses the thought that the plane “was only capable of maintaining altitude for a short distance.” A reader quickly grasps the inability of a F-100 to glide. The next sentence should spell out more precisely just how far it might glide, but such explanation would be necessary whether or not imagery is employed.
飛機滑翔也可以用石頭或其他物體形容，不過由於鐵砧快速墜地的意象能清楚傳達飛機「只能在一小段距離內保持高度」，所以讀者很快能了解 F-100 不太能滑翔。不論是否用意象比喻，下一個句子應需進一步解釋F-100 究竟能滑翔多遠。
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 5: Use imagery… An academic writer can tighten his paper, lower word count, and enable understanding by using universal images that communicate clearly and accurately. In the sentence below, the writer did not employ imagery where it was possible to do so. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger by use of imagery?
十大簡潔英文準則五：善用意象
學術文章引用眾所周知的意象能讓溝通更精確、文章更簡潔並減少字數，幫助讀者理解文章。下列句子並未在適當的地方善用意象，要如何使用意象，才能讓此句更精簡有力？
題目Contest Sentence:
“The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the unpowered flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It was only capable of maintaining altitude for a short distance.”
正確解答 Answer: We believe the best revision is… “The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It glided like an anvil.”
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “The F-100, an aircraft flown by air force pilots in five countries, shared the flight characteristics of other small-winged jet fighters: It glided like an anvil.”
This sentence reduces the word count to 26 from 32 by comparing a jet aircraft to an anvil. An anvil is a steel or iron block that is used for shaping metal, usually by hammering on the metal as it rests on the anvil. The shop tool is forged of dense material and, therefore, is heavy, which helps it stay in place during hammering. An anvil does not, of course, have wings. Consequently, if it were flung outward by a person of normal strength, gravity would quickly pull it to the earth. Such is the image.
若將噴射機比擬成鐵砧，可讓句子從 32 個字減少到 26 個字。鐵砧由鋼或鐵製成，鍛捶金屬時，通常將金屬放在鐵砧上捶打。鐵砧由緻密的金屬鍛造而成，因此非常沉重，如此捶打時才不會移動。鐵砧沒有翅膀，如果以人手擲出，很快會因重力墜地；鐵砧的意象就是如此。
To write that a fighter jet glides like an anvil imaginatively expresses the fact that the plane’s ability to stay in the air is largely dependent upon the thrust of the plane’s jet engine. The thrust propels the aircraft forward with the wings mostly helping to control the path of its flight. Unlike planes with larger wings and smaller mass, the F-100 did not derive much lift from its wings. Therefore, if the engine quit operating and thrusting ended, the plane would not glide any great distance.
形容戰鬥噴射機如鐵砧般滑翔，讓讀者明白飛機能停留在空中，主要是藉由噴射引擎的推動力，推動飛機向前，機翼主要控制飛行路徑。F-100戰鬥噴射機與其他機翼較大、質量較輕的飛機不同，機翼提供的飛行提升力不多。因此，若引擎熄止，不再推動飛機，機身便滑不了多遠。
It could have been written the plane glided “like a rock” or something similar. The point is, the image of an anvil quickly dropping to the ground clearly expresses the thought that the plane “was only capable of maintaining altitude for a short distance.” A reader quickly grasps the inability of a F-100 to glide. The next sentence should spell out more precisely just how far it might glide, but such explanation would be necessary whether or not imagery is employed.
飛機滑翔也可以用石頭或其他物體形容，不過由於鐵砧快速墜地的意象能清楚傳達飛機「只能在一小段距離內保持高度」，所以讀者很快能了解 F-100 不太能滑翔。不論是否用意象比喻，下一個句子應需進一步解釋F-100 究竟能滑翔多遠。
