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十大簡潔英文準則二：避免It作為句首
【學術專欄】
The best writing doesn’t waste words. It employs words efficiently. Recently our Facebook fans at TPS have been enjoying our new column Brevity: Valuing Each Word. For the past 4 months, we have asked fans to provide examples of brevity relevant to the Rule we were discussing for the week. Now that the 10 Ways to Shorten & Strengthen Your Academic Paper have been outlined, below we give you a recap of each Rule, as well as the correct answer and explanation to accompanying quiz question.
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 2: Avoid “It” Sentences … A trained academic writer succeeds by communicating thoughts succinctly, and sentence construction is another key to success. In the sentence below, the writer elected to begin with the word “it” as the subject of an impersonal verb. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger while retaining the meaning?
十大簡潔英文準則二：避免It作為句首
訓練有素的學術文章作者，能簡明扼要表達句意，成功的另一關鍵是適切的句構。下列句子中，作者以it為句首，卻使用無人稱動詞。要如何修改才能有效地縮短句子，加強語氣，並且維持原本句意呢？
題目Contest Sentence:
“It became clear that to rid the clamoring crowd of its most vocal spokesman would be to enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.”
正確解答 Answer: Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.
We believe the best revision is… “Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.” This word choice and structure improves the sentence in several ways. First, it reduces the word count to 13 from 21 without diminishing the impact of the sentence or changing its meaning or tone. The statement remains impersonal—which usually is preferred in academic writing—but is invigorated through use of a gerund (“silencing”) instead of a full infinitive (“to rid”).
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.” 改寫後的句子在用字與句型上有幾個好處，包括字數從21個字縮減為13個字，而不影響句子意義與語氣；句子仍然保持客觀—這是學術寫作中較適當的語氣；而動名詞silencing取代了不定詞to rid，使句子更具活力。
Use of a full infinitive is appropriate in some instances—for example, to convey an abstract thought (“To be or not to be…”). However, as part of an impersonal sentence beginning with “It,” such infinitive usage nearly always produces a statement long on words and short on vigor. Just as enervating are sentences beginning with the impersonal “there,” as in “There is justification for testing it again.” Academic writers wanting to avoid either construction can follow this general guideline: The most active, direct, and compelling language is the surest way to connect writer and reader.
在某些情形下，使用不定詞並無不當—例如表達抽象想法時 (“To be or not to be…”)。但句子既無人稱，開頭又用了It，那麼不定詞會驅使句子呈現冗長，了無生意。there開頭的句型同樣有弱化句子語氣的影響，例如 “There is justification for testing it again.”。學術論文的作者若是想避免寫出這類句子，可以遵循下列準則：主動、直接、具說服力的用詞與用字，最能成為連結作者與讀者意見溝通的橋樑。
Some writers might wonder about using “silencing the clamoring crowd’s…” instead of the more derivative “ridding the clamoring crowd of its…” However, besides being more succinct, “silencing” refers directly to the issue of speech. While ridding an audience of a verbal person and silencing the verbal person produce the same result, “ridding” usually means removal from an audience. On the other hand, “silencing” mostly suggests a cessation of talk, which is the central issue. After all, a vocal person can be silenced through persuasion, shaming, or removal from the scene.
有些作者可能會疑惑，為什麼要用silencing the clamoring crowd’s取代較常見的“ridding the clamoring crowd of its…”。這樣的寫法除了較簡潔外，silencing與演講這項主題也較有關係。從聽眾當中除去一名發言者，以及，讓這名發言者無法出聲，儘管這兩種寫法目的都相同，但前者ridding通常意味著要這個人離開聽眾群。另一方面而言，silencing基本上意指停止說話，正是原句要表達的意思。畢竟要讓一個人靜下來有許多方法，例如說服、使其感到羞愧、或是請其直接離席都是可考慮的方法。
最佳的寫作，必須有效選用字句、惜字如金。TPS推出的新專欄競賽 「Brevity: Valuing Each Word簡潔準則：惜字如金」，請Facebook 粉絲寫出簡潔、流暢的詞彙/句子。經過數月的競賽後，已依序公布十大簡潔英文準則，在此集結題目、正確解答與解析刊登如下。
Rule # 2: Avoid “It” Sentences … A trained academic writer succeeds by communicating thoughts succinctly, and sentence construction is another key to success. In the sentence below, the writer elected to begin with the word “it” as the subject of an impersonal verb. How can the sentence best be written shorter and stronger while retaining the meaning?
十大簡潔英文準則二：避免It作為句首
訓練有素的學術文章作者，能簡明扼要表達句意，成功的另一關鍵是適切的句構。下列句子中，作者以it為句首，卻使用無人稱動詞。要如何修改才能有效地縮短句子，加強語氣，並且維持原本句意呢？
題目Contest Sentence:
“It became clear that to rid the clamoring crowd of its most vocal spokesman would be to enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.”
正確解答 Answer: Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.
We believe the best revision is… “Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.” This word choice and structure improves the sentence in several ways. First, it reduces the word count to 13 from 21 without diminishing the impact of the sentence or changing its meaning or tone. The statement remains impersonal—which usually is preferred in academic writing—but is invigorated through use of a gerund (“silencing”) instead of a full infinitive (“to rid”).
我們相信最佳寫法應為 “Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.” 改寫後的句子在用字與句型上有幾個好處，包括字數從21個字縮減為13個字，而不影響句子意義與語氣；句子仍然保持客觀—這是學術寫作中較適當的語氣；而動名詞silencing取代了不定詞to rid，使句子更具活力。
Use of a full infinitive is appropriate in some instances—for example, to convey an abstract thought (“To be or not to be…”). However, as part of an impersonal sentence beginning with “It,” such infinitive usage nearly always produces a statement long on words and short on vigor. Just as enervating are sentences beginning with the impersonal “there,” as in “There is justification for testing it again.” Academic writers wanting to avoid either construction can follow this general guideline: The most active, direct, and compelling language is the surest way to connect writer and reader.
在某些情形下，使用不定詞並無不當—例如表達抽象想法時 (“To be or not to be…”)。但句子既無人稱，開頭又用了It，那麼不定詞會驅使句子呈現冗長，了無生意。there開頭的句型同樣有弱化句子語氣的影響，例如 “There is justification for testing it again.”。學術論文的作者若是想避免寫出這類句子，可以遵循下列準則：主動、直接、具說服力的用詞與用字，最能成為連結作者與讀者意見溝通的橋樑。
Some writers might wonder about using “silencing the clamoring crowd’s…” instead of the more derivative “ridding the clamoring crowd of its…” However, besides being more succinct, “silencing” refers directly to the issue of speech. While ridding an audience of a verbal person and silencing the verbal person produce the same result, “ridding” usually means removal from an audience. On the other hand, “silencing” mostly suggests a cessation of talk, which is the central issue. After all, a vocal person can be silenced through persuasion, shaming, or removal from the scene.
有些作者可能會疑惑，為什麼要用silencing the clamoring crowd’s取代較常見的“ridding the clamoring crowd of its…”。這樣的寫法除了較簡潔外，silencing與演講這項主題也較有關係。從聽眾當中除去一名發言者，以及，讓這名發言者無法出聲，儘管這兩種寫法目的都相同，但前者ridding通常意味著要這個人離開聽眾群。另一方面而言，silencing基本上意指停止說話，正是原句要表達的意思。畢竟要讓一個人靜下來有許多方法，例如說服、使其感到羞愧、或是請其直接離席都是可考慮的方法。
