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並非所有與學術議題相關的文章，就能稱之為「學術文章」。本篇專欄將節錄不同學術議題的內容，分析常見的寫作錯誤，並分享潤修與寫作的技巧。
Not all articles written on academic topics are written in proper academic English. In this "This is not academic writing" column we examine short excerpts from academic texts to illustrate common writing errors and explain how to correct them.

Unacceptable 不被認可的文章

“Alcoholism affects physical and psychological functioning and disrupts the social life of a serious drinker. It is a progressive illness that can kill you if someone doesn’t step up and help. The three methods of intervening are medical screening, pharmacological treatment, and going into therapy. The first method (screening) is chancy. The other two take longer and can get pretty intense. No method is guaranteed to work, because alcoholism is a tough disease.”

The previous paragraph is infused with language unsuited for an academic paper. “The social life of a serious drinker” is a colloquial expression. (What is a “serious drinker?” Is it a person who is seriously intent on getting drunk, or one who is seriously in trouble with alcohol?) The phrase “that can kill you if someone doesn’t step up and help” is personalized and awkwardly rendered. “The three methods” sentence contains nonparallel elements. The characterization of one method as “chancy” is slangy. The final two sentences are rife with conversational and shorthand language that diminish their effectiveness. The more academic version appears below.
這段文章並不適用於學術論文。 “The social life of a serious drinker” 相當口語，其中的問題包括 “serious drinker” 如何定義? 是指蓄意喝醉的人，還是有嚴重飲酒問題的人? 接下來“that can kill you if someone doesn’t step up and help”讀來會感覺是針對個人且表達方式相當怪異。另外，文中提到的 “The three methods” 三種方式排列不夠工整，首句出現的 “chancy”太過俚俗，後兩句則接近對話且表達太過簡略，使得文句的效果大打折扣。此段文章編輯潤飾後內容，刊登如下。

Acceptable 認可的文章

“Alcoholism affects physical and psychological functioning and disrupts social cohesion by overriding inhibitions. It is a progressive illness that can be a fatal one in the absence of intervention. The three methods of intervening are medical screening, pharmacological treatment, and behavioral therapy. The first method (screening) is voluntary and serendipitous, the latter two longer term and more intense. None is a panacea, because the disease is so pernicious.”

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.


“As he scanned an audience of peers, the retiring historian gathered his thoughts, culling from a cribful of frustration the kernels of professional delight that might nurture.”
「這位退休歷史學家掃視一眼台下的聽眾，同時整理著自己的思緒，從滿滿的挫折當中挑選出職業生涯中愉快的事蹟。」

“Culling from a cribful ... the kernels” is an agrarian allusion. It refers to corn, which sometimes is stored whole, still on the cob, in a corncrib. When shelled, the actual volume of edible corn is much less than the crib’s volume of ears of corn. While the corncob is useful, it lacks the nutritional value of the kernels embedded in it.
「從玉米穀倉中挑出玉米粒 (Culling from a cribful ... the kernels)」是帶有農業色彩的引喻，其中提到的玉米，有時以整枝玉米的形式保存在玉米穀倉中，剝下來後可食用的玉米粒，份量會比整枝玉米穗少得多，而玉米梗雖然仍有用途，營養價值卻比不上玉米粒。

As used in a paper about an eminent historian, the metaphor denotes a processing of memories by one who knows both the researcher’s episodic joy of discovery and the exhausting labor of digging. In “gathering his thoughts,” the historian chooses to voice selective career highlights, rather than to dwell on necessary struggles preceding them.
在這篇關於著名歷史學家的文章當中，這個隱喻點出作者不但瞭解研究學者在新發現時的欣喜若狂，也非常清楚發掘過程的辛勞，因此寫道這位歷史學家在「整理思緒」時，選擇強調工作的成就，而不著墨於必經的奮鬥過程。

下列的句子中，包含了一個錯誤，可能是文法、拼法或是標點符號的錯誤。我們將提供統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元的購物禮券，給予今天前三名挑出正確錯誤、寫出正確答案的粉絲。正確的解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS的專頁。請將你的答案寫在下方，獲得免費購物禮券的幸運兒可能就是你哦!
The sentence below contains 1 grammatical, spelling and/or punctuation error. The first three (3) TPS Fans to respond with the corrected sentence will win a NTD200 7-11/Starbucks Gift Certificate. The corrected sentence and the names of the winners will be published tomorrow on this TPS Fans page. Please post your answers below. Good luck!

題目Contest Sentence:

“The poetess’s asymmetrical allusions to God—she seems unwilling to directly concede God’s presence in her heart and mind—is a failure of poetcraft as well as conscience.”

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“Bellowing at his entourage, the loose sleeves of his yellow robe whipped by his flailing arms, the emperor only bridled his outrage when he glimpsed his young son cringing behind the skirt of a nobleman.”
君王對隨從怒吼，揮動雙臂，黃袍寬鬆的袖子隨之飛舞，瞥見小兒子畏縮地躲在貴族衣襬後，才箝制住自己的怒氣。

“Bridled his outrage” alludes to the function of a bridle, the leather-and-steel headgear on a horse by which a rider controls movement of the animal. Applying pressure through the bit and reins of the bridle, a rider can govern the horse’s direction and stop it from moving altogether. The small device restrains the large animal by influencing its decisions.
「箝制怒氣 (Bridled his outrage)」暗指馬籠頭(轡頭)的功用。皮革製的鋼帽製成的馬籠頭，置於馬的頭上使騎士能控制動物的行進。只要對馬籠頭與馬的腰部略施壓力，便能掌控馬的行進與停止。如此精巧的裝置卻能對體積龐大的動物產生箝制的行為。

As used in an academic paper about an emperor’s court, the metaphor denotes the self-restraint the monarch demonstrated upon seeing a child. To say he “bridled his outrage” is to say the bellicose emperor pulled back on his emotions and steered himself away from further display of anger. The “bridling” is an internal correction in which a person metaphorically grabs his own reins and gets himself under control.
在學術文章中，應用於法庭裡，隱喻君王的行為受制於一個小孩。這句「箝制怒氣(Bridled his outrage)」是指逞兇好鬥的君王，收回其憤怒的情緒，不再宣洩怒火。這裡的「箝制(bridling)」是內心情緒的修飾，比喻某人由於受到情感的制約，而使自己遭受其他人、事的控制。

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“The enfeebled brain received the sensory information, fitfully analyzed it and, in a cloudburst of responses, flooded the body with conflicting commands.”
衰弱的大腦接收感官訊息，斷斷續續地分析，如驟雨般猛烈回應，帶給身體大量衝突的指令。

“In a cloudburst of responses” alludes to a copious, usually unexpected, downpour of rain. Cloudburst suggests that a cloud in the sky acted like a bag of water that, stressed by the weight of the pooled liquid, suddenly burst open and released its burden. The action is characterized by sudden release and high volume.
「如驟雨般猛烈回應 (In a cloudburst of responses)」暗指豐沛且通常無法預期的傾盆大雨。驟雨在此是形容，天空中的雲就像是集水袋，裝載著所有空氣中凝聚而成的液體，突然間承載不住，如同洩洪般爆發而傾倒而出。這樣的行為表示突然間釋放積聚已久的壓力與能量。

As used in an academic paper about a mental state, the metaphor denotes a surge of mental activity that overwhelms the physiology of a person. It implies that the sheer volume of responses to stimuli was too much for a system to handle. The normal channels of response were “flooded” and rendered dysfunctional.
在學術文章中，多應用於心理狀態，隱喻為心理的情緒起伏全面影響一個人的生理現象。這是在影射所有刺激引發的反應量已超載，導致系統無法負荷。正常的回應管道遭到大量湧入訊息，導致功能異常損壞的現象。

Correct Best Answer: Replace “desolation” with “isolation.”

“Some tribes living in the Amazon River Valley of South America are considered the last primitive people, living in isolation by utilizing the jungle’s resources.”

A desolate place has, by definition, no inhabitants. It is characterized by abandonment, joylessness and barrenness. Obviously, the tribes exist, for they have been photographed, and continue to multiply, so they are not barren. They may even be happy. Hence, they are not living in desolation. Rather, the tribes live in a place far removed from other people and from modernity itself. They are isolated. To say the Amazonian tribes live in isolation, then, is a correct statement.
'desolate'是荒涼的意思，沒有棲息居住的意涵，表示遭遺棄、無生氣、荒蕪之境。根據題目，很明顯的，曾有人拍攝到部落是存在的，且人數持續增長中，所以他們身處的不是荒廢的地方，甚至於他們應該是非常快樂的一群民族。因此，他們並非住在荒蕪之地，應該是說，部落位在很遠的地方，一般人無法輕易接近。他們是被隔離的。正確的說法應為 the Amazonian tribes live in isolation。

The winner of this week's prize is Tina Hsu who is the first fan to submit the best correct answer.
在第一時間指出混淆字並且寫出最佳替代字的粉絲，這次獲獎的粉絲是Jim Lee。恭禧Jim!

Thanks for everyone's participation in this week's One Word Away From Confusion Contest. Congratulations to all who wrestled with the sentence and learned something about the value of individual words.
謝謝所有粉絲們參與本周的「你能找出混淆字嗎?」活動，恭禧所有參與這次競賽題目的粉絲們，對於字彙本身的意義與價值有了更深一層瞭解與體會。

撰寫學術文章時，每字每句都需要謹慎著墨。改變幾個字就會使完整的一句話變得令人摸不著頭緒。下列的句子中，為使這句話能完整且有意義的表達，請選出你認為會令人感到困惑的字，我們將提供統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元禮券，給予挑出混淆字，並寫出最佳替代字的第1位粉絲，最適的解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS的專頁。請將你的答案寫在下方，獲得免費購物禮券的幸運兒可能就是你哦!
Every word is important in a well-written academic paper. Changing just a word or two can turn a clear sentence into a confusing one. Tell us what word you would change in the following puzzling sentence to render it more meaningful. The first best answer will receive a NTD200 7-11/Starbucks Gift Certificate.

題目Contest Sentence:

“Some tribes living in the Amazon River Valley of South America are considered the last primitive people, living in desolation by utilizing the jungle’s resources.”

很多字詞並非表面所見的意思，字詞的組合會產生不同的解釋。這樣的慣用法，我們稱之為「比喻」。一個成功的比喻，作者本身必須相當瞭解字詞的源起。以下的句子為讀者介紹一個比喻及其來源。
Imagery buries itself in language and takes on new meaning. The transplanted and transformed sets of words are called “figures of speech.” For a figure of speech to be effective, however, a writer must first understand the original meaning of the phrase. The following sentence contains a common figure of speech. Its original meaning is explained.

“These findings suggested that the nerve fiber retracted after the traumatic blow, then rebounded within the nerve bundle like an uncoiling spring, and initiated new growth.”
經許多研究結果發現，當造成外傷時，神經纖維立即收縮，如同鬆開的彈簧般即時回應神經束，新纖維同時開始生成。

“Like an uncoiling spring” alludes to the expansion of a spiral coil of steel or plastic after a constriction is removed, allowing it to return to a pre-formed, unrepressed state. The change is sudden and energetic and, when occurring within range of another object, sometimes violent. The action is commonly described in the onomatopoeic word sproing!
「如同鬆開的彈簧般 (Like an uncoiling spring)」暗指當鐵製或塑膠製的線圈經過束緊纏繞變形，一旦鬆開後，線圈即刻向外彈開，使其回復到變形前的狀態。這樣突然且強烈的改變，尤其當它同時影響周圍物件時，改變所帶來的後果可能更加猛烈。一般會用擬聲字 "sproing" 來表達對這樣的動作反應。

As used in an academic paper about a biological condition, the simile denotes a marked change of status for a fibrous material. The material was deformed by an outside inhibiting influence and then suddenly regained its previous form and instigated biological change. The simile is used to convey the quickness of the biological expansion.
在學術文章中，多應用於生物現象，意思是「纖維物料狀態的明顯改變」。也就是說，當物料遭到外力壓迫影響而導致變形，而在一瞬間又立即回覆原本狀態並進而促使生物的進化與變化。這樣的用法一般是用來敘述特定生物現象的快速擴展。

Correct Best Answer: Replace “comity” with “tragedy.”

“In his epic play about two young lovers, Shakespeare alternates between comedy and tragedy to heighten dramatic tension.”

Comity is marked by friendliness and social harmony. To move from comedy to friendliness, as the errant sentence suggests, is not a stark enough change to create tension in an audience. But having characters move from comedy to tragedy does disrupt an audience’s emotional equilibrium, which is why Shakespeare penned it that way.
Comity有友善、社會和諧的意思。以原句喜劇(comedy)與友善(friendliness)的寫法，實無法產生足夠的閱讀張力以吸引讀者的目光。然而，當改為喜劇(comedy)與悲劇(tragedy)的寫法，則能引發讀者的對比情緒，這也是作者莎士比亞筆觸下的用意。

In the play in question, Shakespeare did not veer into “horror,” as one Fan suggested, though tragedies can be horrible. Other Fans got caught up in the similarity and alliteration of “comedy” and “comity” and simply substituted “c” words for comity, such as commodity and conformity. And one Fan changed two words in the sentence so that the phrase read: “…between comic and tragic…” Unfortunately, to successfully sub the adjectives (comic, tragic) for the nouns (comedy, tragedy) also requires that a writer add a third word, “scenes,” so that the sentence reads, “ …between comic and tragic scenes...”
粉絲的回答中，提出以"horror(可怕)"來替代用字，事實上，題目中莎士比亞並未提到這個面向；當然，tragedy(悲劇)的確極大可能是可怕的。相當多粉絲以意義相近的同義字及押頭韻"c"的"commodity(商品)"與"conformity(順從)"替代"comity"。粉絲中也有置換句中兩字詞性為形容詞"…between comic and tragic…"，然而，欲以形容詞(comic, tragic)表達出完整句意，作者必須再加上名詞“scenes” , 即該句應為"...between comic and tragic scenes"，才算完整。

The winner of this week's prize is Tina Hsu who is the first fan to submit the best correct answer.
在第一時間指出混淆字並且寫出最佳替代字的粉絲，經評估後，這次獲獎的粉絲是Tina Hsu。恭禧Tina!

Thanks for everyone's participation in this week's One Word Away From Confusion Contest. Congratulations to all who wrestled with the sentence and learned something about the value of individual words.
謝謝所有粉絲們參與本周的「你能找出混淆字嗎?」活動，恭禧所有參與這次競賽題目的粉絲們，對於字彙本身的意義與價值有了更深一層瞭解與體會。

撰寫學術文章時，每字每句都需要謹慎著墨。改變幾個字就會使完整的一句話變得令人摸不著頭緒。下列的句子中，為使這句話能完整且有意義的表達，請選出你認為會令人感到困惑的字，我們將提供統一超商/星巴克咖啡NTD200元禮券，給予挑出混淆字，並寫出最佳替代字的1位粉絲，最適的解答與獲獎的粉絲姓名，將於明天公佈於本TPS的專頁。請將你的答案寫在下方，獲得免費購物禮券的幸運兒可能就是你哦!
Every word is important in a well-written academic paper. Changing just a word or two can turn a clear sentence into a confusing one. Tell us what word you would change in the following puzzling sentence to render it more meaningful. The best answer will receive a NTD200 7-11/Starbucks Gift Certificate.

題目Contest Sentence:

“In his epic play about two young lovers, Shakespeare alternates between comedy and comity to heighten dramatic tension.”